| Never Ending Lies |

Chapter 8: Night Terrors

-Still Hoseok POV-

"1, 2, 3, 4..." I heard footsteps of people who were walking here and there nearby. My mom asked me to count till 10 so here am I counting.

"5, 6, 7..." I continued counting as I heard footsteps getting louder.

"8, 9..." I counted.

"10!" I said and opened my eyes only to find people walking here and there. I thought my mom was behind me but when I turned around, I found no one.

I waited and waited but she never came back.

I went around the amusement park to see if she was anywhere there searching for me but I never found her.

In the end of the day, I couldn't help but cry. I wanted to hug her but I couldn't.

"M-mom. P-please c-come b-back. M-mom, p-please t-take me h-home. I-I w-want to g-go b-back t-to h-home. M-mom"

I woke up breathing heavily. I sat up and tried to calm myself down. I took deep breaths but it still didn't help.

I tried to calm myself by closing my eyes but whenever I closed my eyes, I got flashbacks of when my mom left me alone in the amusement park.

I reached out to the night stand and grabbed my pills. I took 2-3 pills and sat in a corner of the bed with my legs touching my chest. I hugged my legs tightly and tried to overcome the fear of getting that nightmare again if I close my eyes.

"Calm down Hoseok. You are alright. Calm down. It's okay. Everything is okay"

That's what my mouth spoke but I'm not fine. Deep inside I needed someone to hug me tightly and calm me down.

I kept on taking deep breaths and after sometime calmed down but still couldn't sleep.

I was sure that if I close my eyes once again then I'll get the same nightmare.

-Hoseok POV ends-

-Rosè POV-

'Why can't my life be a little happier?'

That was the only thing going inside my mind. That was the only question which I have already asked myself a millions of time but still never found an answer.

Why do I always have to be perfect? Why can't just be...myself? Why do I always have to get judged for everything I do? Why is it me always?

I hate the fact that it's me.

I was so happy when I met them. I thought I finally found a real reason to smile and it was true. They were the reason of my smile.

But...

Everything changed without us noticing. I haven't been in touch with anyone else except Jisoo unnie.

To be honest, I miss them so much. I miss going out with them. I miss their hug. I miss everything.

Why is that the happiest of moments usher in sudden fear?

I wiped away my tears. Only if I could, then I would have ended it all.

I grabbed my guitar and sat near the window. After tuning it, I started playing it while tears never stopped flowing.

I still had some hope of finding happiness even after loosing them but now I've lost that hope too.

"But we were born to be alone
Yeah we were born to be alone,
Why are we still looking for love?"

No matter what I did, those tears never stopped falling.

I realised that love doesn't mean relationships. The word "Love" got a whole different meaning.

I found love and care in those 10 stars of mine, not in my so called boyfriend.

I made a mistake by dating him. I thought I'll find love and care there but no. It was just obsession. Nothing else.

Obsessions which lead to heartbreaks and tears.

I started playing my guitar faster and faster when I accidentally cut my finger.

Blood started flowing out but I continued playing the guitar while singing.

I don't care anymore. I sighed.

I can't. I can't take it all anymore. I want an end to it.

I finally stopped playing and kept the guitar aside. When I looked out of the window, I saw the shining city. The view was mesmerising! It was really dark outside while the city shined like diamond.

Opening the window wide, I let the wind enter the room and embrace me. My finger continued to bleed but in that moment, I didn't feel any pain. Instead I felt my inner self calm down a bit.

Will my inner self completely calm down and give me relief if I cut my wrist?

Maybe it will...

I had another question in my mind too.

'Why am I still living?'

I still wonder, for what am I living? The main reason why I wanted to live got lost years ago. 

I'm living for no reason. I feel so suffocated. I feel like I'm drowning in the ocean of pain.

I wish I could run away from this hell.

In every dream I'm being chased. I keep running, even if I run away one day the lies will never stop looking for me.

I can't get out of this pain.

Save me.

Save me from being punished.

~~~~~~~
(Unedited)

A/n: Hello humans! I'm back with another boring chapter ;-; Hope you guys liked reading it! Take care and babyee~