| Never Ending Lies |

Chapter 11: Ephialtes

-Jungkook POV-

Another day passes by without even noticing.

I keep counting how many more days to suffer.

There's no change in life. The same thing keeps on having everyday. Locking myself in a room and crying until there are no tears left in the body, cutting hands, wrist, thighs and what not to reduce the pain I'm carrying inside my heart.

Sometimes I wished to end my life straight away but...I'm not brave enough to do it.

Whenever I think of doing it, a few faces keep on flashing inside my mind telling me not to do.

People keep on saying me that I'm just a disappointment to the family. I try my best to ignore their words and move forward but I am not able to ignore it anymore.

I feel like I never really did good enough in my life till now. I feel like I'm really a disappointment to the family. I feel that i am not good enough as my brother. I feel like I'm good for nothing.

I kept telling myself everyday that things will get better soon but it's no way getting better. I kept on trying to think positive but nothing positive was happening with me!

I wish I could cry my heart out to someone. I wish I could share my problems with someone and say that I'm not okay.

A few people do ask me if something is wrong. I want to say them that I'm not okay but I'm not able to say because they look at me with pity eyes.

When someone asks me 'How are you?' I want to say them that I'm not fine but the only thing which comes out of my mouth is 'I'm fine'.

Maybe...the only thing I'm good at is pretending to be okay when I'm not.

My parents think I'm fine. My Classmates think I'm fine. My doctor thinks I'm fine. Sometimes even I think I'm fine when I am not. I'm not okay at all. And I don't know how longer I can keep pretending to be fine.

It's already night and here am I, In the top of a building all alone. This place is my comfort zone. I can share about my pain here to  the wind, to sky and I know they will listen to me patiently and won't judge me for who I am.

Looking up into the night sky, I was welcomed by countless stars, constellations, and the moon. A sight I usually do not get to view quite often.

The stars shone brightly above my head in darkness. I opened my arms wide, letting the cold wind hug me and embrace me in its arms.

I unknowingly smiled.

"If no one understands me then atleast you'll understands me"

The view infront of my eyes was just mesmerising as the city of Incheon felt alive. The surrounding was so calm and peaceful. The small, green trees on the roadside swayed as the strong breeze hit them.

I layed on the floor and gazed at the stars which looked like falling diamonds from the sky.

It's all so beautiful.

My life used to be beautiful just like this. Filled with happiness and joy. When I met them, everything changed. I was no more all alone by myself. I had them with me by my side all the time but now they are gone.

That is what hurts me more than ever.

Sometimes i wonder if i really ever met them. Being with them felt like a dream everyone wants to feel.

Maybe it was a dream which is now broken.

A broken dream.

-Jungkook's POV ends-