Seoul Mate

Chapter IIIIIIIIIII; Boundaries

I am so annoied. What I just told Caitlin wasnt a lie, but it wasnt the entire truth. I love her, I miss her, I want her, and people say Im the tease....

But I guess shes right. Shes only 19, not being ready shouldnt be made into a big deal.

Maybe its good that she cockblocked me, what if she didnt think of me the same way after? No, shes not like that. I took some deep breaths, I have to calm down....

Did she mean what she said? Does she not want to go all the yet, or not at all with me? I dont know. Its late. I kissed the top of Caitlins head head and she snuggled closer to me.

~

By the time we were up the next morning i was 100% over it. Accually you could say that Im now siding with Caitlin. Shes pure, and I want to keep her that way.

Caitlin poured or ceral for both of us and we ate quietly. I looked over to her and she seemed kindof down, or maybe shes just tired. I took her free hand and played with her fingers, "What wrong?" I asked, kissing her hand.

"Nothing." She said as she got up and took our bowls away. I followed her into the kitchen. When she turned around I picked her up and set her down on the counter.

"Tell me what wrong."

"Its nothing..." She said as she traced the pattern on my tshirt.

"Hmm... I guess Ill have to get it out of you somehow..." I said as I picked her up, ran to the bedroom, slammed her down on the bed, and started to tickle her. She screamed and tried to get away, but I had her pinned. "Will you tell me?" I asked.

"Y-y-YES!" She cried. I stopped but I still held her down. "I just feel bad for chickening out last night." She said.

I sighed, "Baby, dont. I not mad." She didnt respond, "Smile." I demanded.

She gave me a weak half smile, "SMILE BIGGER!" I said as I started to tickle her again. SHe laughed hystarically, "STOP!" I did as I was told and she was out of breath.

"Please dont worry anymore." I said, then I leaned down and kissed her softly.

When we pulled away she said "Ok." I smiled and kissed her again. We didnt really plan on pulling away, well atleast I wasnt, but there was a knock at the door.

~Caitlins POV~

Uhg, Rebekah kill yourself, I thought when I heard the knock at my door. I pulled away from Jongwoon and got up to answer.

"Merry Christmas!" Rebekah said when I opened the door.

"Merry Christmas," I said, "Shouldnt you be with with Eunhyuk?" I let her in.

"What do you mean?" She asked, taking off her scarf.

"Isnt he here too?" I asked.

"No," Jongwoon said, walking in from my room, "Just me."

"Oh." To be honest I felt kinda bad. Even though she rubbed Eunhyuk in my face alittle when me and Jongwoon broke up, no one should be apart from who they love on Christmas. She seemed really sad so I tried to keep the PDA to a bare minimum.

Jongwoon seemed to notice too because he said, "I sorry Eunhyuk couldnt come, Siwon wanted all members together for Christmas. I sneek out."

"Its okay, I understand." She said. Her phone went off, but she ignored it.

"I just remember, Eunhyuk ask me to give you this." He said as he pulled out a folded envelope from his pocket and handed it to Rebekah. She took it and read it, when she finished her expression had completely changed, 

"Ill be right back." She said, then going into another room.

~

Around 7 Rebekah had announced that she had had enough of us and left. I hopped into the shower and when I came out I found Jongwoon sitting on the edge of the bed, shirtless. I blushed, I dont think Ill ever get used to him without a shirt (and I am okay with that).

I walked over to him, sat on his lap, and wrapped my arms around his kneck, "Hi." i said.

"Hi," He said, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Tired?" I asked, rubbing his back.

"Alittle." He said looking up and kissing my temple. I smiled and kissed him. It got rough quickly and he layed back, taking me with him. He didnt make an effort to take it farther, maybe he didnt want to make me mad. I was on top again and I started to kiss his neck. Jongwoon exhaled, "Caitlin."

I smiled alittle and ran my hands down his stomach and stopped at the bow that tied his sweatpants. I pulled slowly on one of the strings and the knot came undone.

"Caitlin!" He said again, but this time pushing me up and off him.

"Whats wrong?" I asked, I am so confussed.

"I dont want to." Jongwoon said.

"What?" I asked, "Just last night you-"

"Yeah I know, but I thought about it and you right. You young and-"

"So you think Im too young now? Im 19, Jongwoon. Im an adult and I can do what I want." I said.

"I know you can but I think it a good idea if we wait."

I wasnt following this at all. I thought he wanted to do this. I know that its him who I want to be with forever, Im not unsure anymore. But fine, if he doesnt want to then we wont. "Okay." I said turning my back to him and shutting my eyes.

He didnt say anything as he turned off the light. I stiffened alittle when Jongwoon wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into him.

~

The whole next day way pretty quiet. I never said I was mad, but I wasnt exactly Little Miss Sunshine. All we did was watch tv, eat, and sleep.

But i couldnt give him the silent treatment the next morning. I found myself asking him every few minutes if he had everthing or if he was hungry. 

When we got to the airport my eyes started to water. I gripped his hand tighter as we walked to his gate. When we got there I avoided his eyes, I didnt want him to see me cry like last time.

"I gotta go." Jongwoon said as he kissed my head and walked away.

"What?" I said looking up. He was standing 5 feet away from me, looking at me with sad eyes.

He walked back and hugged me, "It okay to cry."

I sniffled and held him as tight as I could, "Dont go."

"I have to." His voice cracked.

"Then take me with you." I begged.

"Baby I cant, you have school."

"Come on!" I said looking up at him, "Youre my everything and I dont even remember what Im studying."

"Law..." He said resting his forehead on mine. I pouted and he held my chin, "Well see each other soon."

"Yeah, not till October..." I wimpered.

"Shhh..." Jongwoon said pressing a finger to my lips, "Well make it through this." They made the final call for South Korea.

"I love you." He said as a tear streamed down his face.

"I love you more." I said as I wiped it away.

" I love you most." We kissed for a final time and parted. I stayed to watch his plane take off through my tear full eyes.

Okay, just 11 more months to go.

~