"Huh!" Hermione Granger shook her head and looked again out of the window up to the main tower. It's gray granite form was just getting stark against the leaden winter sky and until just a few seconds before the red of the flag had been the only little color in the dawn. But now the flag seemed to beam in brightness - Gryffindor red, Ravenclaw blue, the gold of Hufflepuff and the dark, vivid green of Slytherin shined, the animals on the crest looked as if they were alive, Slytherin's snake raising its head, the Ravenclaw raven ready to take fly and Hermione even meant she'd hear the Gryffindor lion roar. And there was something else, more color and light, golden light, mixed with purple, playing around the flag, keeping one corner of it, presenting it to the day and Hermione recognized the purple and gold for the headmaster's phoenix and now saw the flag in it's entire glory in almost dazzling white.
"So he's back", she heard herself whisper, her eyes wandering from the flag over the grounds to the dark shadow of the forbidden forest. On the path along the trees Hermione saw a tall figure, wearing a blue robe and a matching wizard's hat, long, silver hair went under it. Dumbledore was heading to the castle, but he didn't look as if he were in a hurry. For a moment he remembered Hermione on an old lion, strolling through his territory in the absolute and unquestionable knowledge of being the invincible master of his land. But then he suddenly stood still, raising his head and looking to the castle and although Hermione couldn't see his face in the distance, the gesture struck her so hard she struggled for breath. The headmaster seemed to hesitate - as if he wouldn't like coming back to Hogwarts and to the task which awaited him there.
Hermione felt a tear hotly running down her check. She wiped it away with the back of her hand, sniffling by it and at the same time ranting to herself: Stop behaving like a silly girl! It won't make anything better, you're only feeling worse by it! Yet she couldn't help it: She hated the idea of being a burden to anyone in general. The idea of becoming one to Albus Dumbledore, the man who already carried the responsibility for Hogwarts and the Order, Hermione loathed even more. For the first time since she'd learned about the marriage law she started to think about leaving the magical world now. Hadn't Minerva talked about this being the other option? Stepping back from the window and seating down on her bed, tugging her bare feet under her, Hermione considered. Was she really and at all cost - even the cost of Dumbledore getting even more weight on his shoulders - to remain in the wizard's world? Couldn't there be another life, a life which could give her challenges and sense too? Perhaps Minerva's talking about Hermione getting a place in an Irish college had in fact meant that her teacher and mentor wanted her to go? Nibbling at her under lip and playing with her hair, Hermione thought about it. Breaking her wand, leaving this world and going back to be a muggle - perhaps it wasn't so final as she'd thought? Perhaps she could come back after the war?
"You're nuts!" Hermione said loudly, much to the amazement of Crookshanks who slept on the carpet in front of the fire. You're entirely and wholly nuts - or mental, as Ron would say. How should you think of running away and living in security until her friends had fought during the war? That would be the coward's exit - and Hermione Granger certainly wasn't a coward. If I go it will be forever, she thought now and once again felt as if it were the end of the world - of her world and of the Hermione Granger she knew. Yet - there was the sight she'd just seen: Albus Dumbledore hesitating as if he'd feared what the future - a future with Hermione at his side - held for him. Who am I and who is he? Hermione asked herself. The last question was simple to answer: The greatest wizard alive, the only enemy Voldemort feared. Without Dumbledore Harry and with him the entire magical world wouldn't stand a chance of winning the war. And what meant one Hermione Granger compared to this? After all: She only was a 17 year old schoolgirl.
