Alpha, Not

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Avery

Andrew, the Alpha, stood and walked out the door leaving me sitting on the bed next to Pete. I'm sure I looked all freaked out, shaking my head in denial, but the more I thought about it, it fit with the rumors that were whispered around town.

"He said you were a werewolf before, so why aren't you now?" I asked Pete, looking up from my hands, that I was wringing in my lap.

"Wow, you go right to the hard questions, don't you?" He replied.

"It's a long story. I thought you would have more questions about werewolves first. How about you ask your other questions and I'll answer that one last. You okay with that?" He looked at me with such puppy dog eyes that I couldn't help but quirk my lips up at the corners a bit.

I asked a lot of questions about werewolves and Pete answered everything I asked. I was curious about daily pack life, how many werewolves are in a pack, are there werewolves living in town with humans and how many of the myths about werewolves are true. He answered without hesitation, and I found it all very interesting.

I finally ran out of other questions and look at him, expecting an answer to my first question. I lift my eyebrow in question as he bounces his leg nervously.

"Are you going to tell me why you're not a werewolf any more now?" I ask.

He took a deep breath and looked down at the floor for a minute before looking back up into my eyes and what he told me next shook me to my core and left me cold and shaken. I didn't know what to think any more.

"I don't really want to talk about my past because I've done things that I am really ashamed of. If I could take it all back and do it all again, I would do everything so different, and I'm afraid that when you hear about the things I've done you'll hate me and won't want to see me again. But if we're going to keep dating, and I hope with all my heart that we will, then you deserve to know everything." He began.

"So, I guess I should start with an explanation for why I'm not a werewolf anymore." He pauses for a minute and then starts again; he looks really nervous.

"This is hard for me Avery, so I hope you'll hear me out. Can you hold all your questions until I'm done? If not, I'm not sure I will be able to finish."

I shook my head yes, not saying anything.

"I was the Alpha of my pack, the White River pack. My father passed the title to me when I turned 18 and I loved being the pack's Alpha. It was my dream ever since I was a pup, to follow my dad and be as good a leader as he was. The only thing missing was my mate."

"I told you about how important mates are to us werewolves. Well, I was just like everyone else, but unlike all my friends, I didn't meet my mate right away when I turned 18. For four years I waited until one day, I was at a pack meeting and all at once I could smell my mate in the crowd. I was so excited; I rushed through the meeting and ran into the crowd looking for her."

He paused again for a minute, before he continued with the story.

"When I found them, it turned out that my mate was a guy. A really small guy. An omega, in fact, and yes, he was gay. His name was Jaxon, and he was a member of the pack, and it was his 18th birthday; we usually meet our mates on our 18th birthdays, and it was something he was really looking forward to."

"I didn't want a male mate."

What does this mean for us, I wonder? What am I to him, I'm male too? I've started to really like this man, but if he's not sure about his own sexuality, that's a no go for me. I refuse to be with anyone who isn't fully on board with accepting who he is. That's way too much to have to deal with for me; it's a deal breaker.

"I always thought I was straight since I liked being with women, but during the last few of years I've discovered that I do like men too, so I guess I'm bisexual. But back then, I didn't think so though, so when I realized Jaxon was my mate, I rejected him immediately."

I had just learned about mates and what can happen with a rejection. Tears filled my eyes before running down my cheek. I wonder what happened to Jaxon, did he die?

"That isn't the worst thing I did to him." Pete whispers, and tears begin running down his cheeks too.

"I ordered my men to lock him up in the cellar, and then... I ordered them to rape him... All of them."

I felt my eyes open wide in horror at what he said he'd done. Oh god no! I don't want to hear this; I thought Pete was different than other guys. But he's not any different than all those guys who bullied me all through high school. Is he?

"But that's still not the worst thing I did. There's more."

Please, no more. I don't want to hear any more. You couldn't have done anything worse than what you've already told me, I thought.

"The next morning, I had him chained to a bed in the barracks and gave him to the unmated warriors in my pack as a sexual plaything. For the next four years, I kept him chained up and let them use him like that. I even held parties and invited other packs and even some of my human friends and I let them all have sex with him too. I became obsessed with him, but I never touched him myself because Levi, my wolf, wouldn't let me."

Oh god, please, stop. This is way worse than anything I could have imagined it would be. Stop talking, please. But nothing comes out of my mouth; I can't say a thing.

"His little sister was a member of our pack, and she was the only one there for him through the whole thing because I exiled his parents from the pack. One day she managed to free him, somehow, and they escaped. They ended up in a pack far to the East and he found a new mate there. I didn't know about his new mate though, it's rare for a werewolf to find a second mate, but it happens sometimes."

"I was so obsessed with getting him back that I went to the werewolf council to demand that Jaxon be returned to my pack. Alpha Andrew, the Alpha you just met is the head of the council, and after Jaxon told the council his side of the story, Andrew refused to send him back with me. I went crazy and swore I would get him back, but then Levi took control over our body."

"Levi apologized to Jaxon for everything I had done. He declared that he loved him still and then he wished him a good life with his second chance mate. Then he begged Alpha Andrew to kill us, but he wouldn't do that, so Levi prayed to the Moon Goddess and asked her to take him away, and he vanished. When he vanished, I became human and I just sort of... fell apart. Alpha Andrew brought me here to recover. I've been here ever since, and that is why I am no longer a werewolf."

"Avery," He begged desperately, "Please don't hate me."