Shame swallows me whole.

Chapter I

Trigger warnings: Eating disorder, abuse, bullying, self harm, self hatred
Content warnings: swearing/cursing
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　
He fell to the floor in defeat, a sharp pain in his stomach with every aggressive kick. Save him. Help him. What has he done to deserve this? Thoughts rushed through his head yet he couldn't think. Why was his own father doing this? He's meant to love him, his own son, whats wrong with him? His thoughts began overwhelming him, how much longer would he be able to do this? Everything blurred and he saw his father begin to stomp away, muttering under his breath. Everything was fading and in a panic he attempted to get up, but before he could, everything went completely black and before he knew it, he was passed out on his lounge room floor.
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　
His eyes fluttered open, everything hurt. Travis struggled to get up, but managed, gripping onto furniture to make it to his room, why was he like this? He just couldn't manage to understand. It doesn't matter, anyways. Travis slowly pulled off his crimson stained shirt, staring at himself in the mirror. His thin, frail body, covered in bruises and cuts, all he could think of himself was how disgusting and worthless he felt. "I can't do this anymore" repeated in his head constantly, his breathing getting heavier by the second. Before he could even start properly panicking he jumped as he heard his mothers shrill voice calling him down for dinner. Dinner. Travis hated dinner, he couldn't stomach the feeling he felt eating with his family, well not really eating, picking and playing with his food, avoiding any conversation with anyone is more what dinner is usually like for travis, he hated it, it made him feel disgusting. He always thought he was too, he couldn't help these thoughts, it made him feel insane. Was he disgusting? He felt worthless, and broken. Travis pulled a new shirt on, wincing in pain everytime he'd accidently bump a bruise. He walked downstairs to the dining room, sitting in his seat before the family began their prayers. Travis stared at his food, picking at it, moving and mixing it around to make it look like he had eaten something. He didn't want it. He couldn't eat it. He won't eat it.
"Dear, you haven't touched your food, is everything okay? " his head shot up when he heard his mother speak, he didn't know what to say, she had never questioned it before, she had never even noticed, what was so different about tonight?
"Yes, everything is fine mother" everything wasn't fine. Nothing was fine. The house is horrible, he couldn't stand living in the horrid, broken household he dreads to go back to everyday after school. Travis loved his mother, really, he did, but she never helped him when he truly needed it. She would just stand back, crying as she watched his father hurt him, that's what truly made Travis's blood boil. It was pathetic.
"Oh, well eat up, you have school tomorrow, lovely" She was going to notice if he didn't eat anything now, so he had no choice. Travis started eating, feeling more and more sick with each and every bite. He could only manage to finish half, before excusing himself from dinner. Travis simply just walked off, rushing up to the bathroom before hunching over the toilet, forcing himself to purge all of the food in his body, he felt sick, disgusting even, knowing he had ruined himself. What was wrong with him? As many thoughts rushed through his head, he blocked them out with great difficulty, he needed to sleep, that's what he always does, it gave him a break from his intrusive thoughts, his parents and everything else. Travis wiped his mouth with his sleeve, walking over the sink to brush his teeth, walking to his almost spotless room afterwards. Travis laid down on his bed, feeling his eyelids grow heavier and heavier until he fell asleep. He was hoping that maybe this time, he wouldn't wake up.
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　
Hi, this chapter is short because its just a starter chapter, the other chapters will be longer ! Have a great day/night lovelies<3

Word count: 702