Chosen

Chapter 25

Watching my room slowly turn into a light pale pink, the sun peeked through my curtains.

I hadn't slept at all.

Every time I closed my eyes, I could smell him, feel him, taste him.

I lay exhausted with red swollen eyes.

So much for the promise to never cry over Finneas Wentworth ever again.

I rolled over trying to find some kind of comfort.

What do I do now?

I couldn't see him again. I didn't know what I would do.

Yell at him for tricking me into kissing him?

No, I knew there was an easy way for him to tell the guards we were together that night without kissing him... but I wanted to kiss him. So desperately... I just needed the smallest excuse to do it.

Can I just act as if nothing had happened?

No. He might have mastered the distant boring emotionless facade but I hadn't. I wouldn't be able to act normal.

Should we... talk about it? Tell him it didn't mean anything?

How the hell would that go?

'Hey Finn, lovely day isn't it? Sorry for attacking you last night and half undressing you, then running away crying, it meant nothing, really.'

What if I tell him the truth then... that I loved him.

I sat up in bed like someone dosed me with water.

Love? Love.

I love Finneas Wentworth.

I already knew I knew this, but I had never actually admitted it to myself.

Now I don't think I could ever forget it again.

I loved Finn. Depreatly, passionately loved him.

The feelings of warmth and happiness spread over me... but only for a moment.

Hopelessly loved him....

My heart sank and turned cold.

What did this change?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Lacey was still here after everything...

He had only said he wanted me. Not loved.

So... maybe he just thought I wanted him too? Would that work as an excuse? Could I play it off that way? I mean it was true. So painfully true. The thought of his hand on my thigh made me shudder. So it would be a half-truth... That I wanted him and nothing more. I could maybe work with that. I had to.

I laid back down on my incredibly soft bed and felt like I might actually be able to sleep.

Right as unconsciousness started to pull me away...

What if he tells Cedric?!

My eyes shot back open.

He wouldn't.... Would he?

Cedric had told him about my dodged kiss...

What if they just told each other those things.

What if Finn told Cedric and I was sent home, both of them wanting nothing to do with me ever again?

Straight home to Collin waiting for me.

Tears were in my eyes again and I rolled over and buried my head in my pillow.