From the One I Loved

Chapter One

Nina's POV:

I sit on my bed and look out of the window. I'm looking at Alex, though his blinds, well at least I hope that it's his shadow I see. It's been almost a week since my baby died. Today is something important, though. It's July 24th. My birthday. And for the six days that I haven't talked to Alex, they were torture.

I miss him like crazy but I don't regret the way I ended things. I needed to. He just reminded of so many things I did not want to be reminded of. But now, I'm in a hole of depression. The only thing I was actually looking forward to today, was my surprise.

Every single day since the 18th, Alex has put a handwritten letter into my mailbox. I store them in the shoebox where I kept the letters I wrote him. I put a slash next to the words: To the One I Loved and wrote: From the One I Loved. I only read one. And that was the one from yesterday. I don't know why that one, but it just was.

It said that he knows I don't want to see him, so he won't force me, but he can't not give me a gift on my birthday. He said that he has a surprise for me. I don't have to see him or talk to him, just accept it, and after, if I know for sure that I hate him and want nothing to do with him, then he would leave me alone. But I was scared. Because I was still at the point that if he said one right word at the right moment, I would fall in love with him all over again, and this time, I knew I wouldn't be able to pull myself out.

I stop starring out of the window. It's my birthday for crying out loud, and I'm just sitting here. So I call the only other friend I have. Beth. I press call and it rings three times before she answers. And the number three reminds me of how Alex would knock on our door three times, and it pained me. I was hoping that it would ring a fourth, but she answered after the third ring. "Hello?" she asks, as if she doesn't have caller id.

"Hey, Beth," I say, and already I regret calling her. I'm not ready to see her. She's just always so preppy and happy and all I want to do is think about my baby. And think of how right now Alex and I would be raising my perfect baby boy.

"Nina, hey" she says, as though she just realized it's me, "Happy Birthday!" She said, "I was going to come by earlier and tell you, but Alex told me you didn't feel like being bothered. And I never even told you how sor---" And then I hung up.

I don't want people to feel sorry for me. A small part of me does appreciation the extra attention, but just that word, sorry. It scares the hell out of me.

**FLASHBACK**

"Nina, I'm so sorry," Dr. Sullivan sad. I didn't know what it was, yet, but tears filled my eyes.

"Why are you sorry?" I ask. "Just tell me!" I grip Alex's hand tighter, squeezing it. He squeezes back.

**FLASHBACK ENDS**

The sound of my phone ringing brings me back from this horrible memory. And I'm happy for that. But I'm not happy that it is Beth calling, again, so I deny the call. I throw my phone onto my bed and head downstairs. "Hey," my mom says. "Happy Birthday!" she sounds too excited. I told her last night that I didn't want to birthday cupcake, breakfast, or dinner. I told her I just wanted to go to the hospital.

She grabs her purse of the couch. "We can go to the doctor now, or you can open your box from Alex," she says. She points to a huge box sitting on the coffee table. I stare at it. Although I have been waiting for this since last night, I don't know if I can bring myself to open it.

I slowly stroll towards the box. I graze the box with my fingertips, taking in every piece of this really big box. I squat down so that my chest is even with the top of the table. I place both of my hands on either side of the box, and lift it as I stand up.

"Give me a minute," I say to my mom, but my eyes stay fixated on the box. Then I walk upstairs, put the box down gently on my bed, and shut the door behind me. At first, I just stare at the box, but then, I'm ready to open it.