Sticks and Stones

Chapter 1- Help Me Kirst

Mitch's POV 

I was bleeding and in pain as I knocked on the door to Kirstie and Jeremy's apartment. 

"C'mon Kirst, please be home..." I say impatiently as I wait for the door to open. I almost didn't want her to be home. I just want to go and be alone. I'm almost wondering why I came here. Will it even be worth it? I'm probably wasting my time... No, I'm already here and I already knocked. It's too late to turn back. I was about to knock again when the door opened. 

"Hey Mitch!! What's up?" Kirstie greeted me happily.

"Kirst, I did something bad. Something really bad." I was kind of embarrassed saying that to her because I looked like shit and I was crying my eyes out. But it was the truth. I don't know if I'll be able to tell her...

She gasped, noticing my obvious, horrible state. "Oh my god Mitch! What happened? Why are you crying?" She urged as she guided me into her apartment and to her couch. I sit down and instantly lay my head in my hands, sobbing helplessly.

"He's gonna hate me, Kirstie... He'll hate me if he finds out what I've done!" I say in between sobs. I feel so helpless. I am helpless. I don't see why I'm even here if I'm beyond help. I felt a hand around my shoulder. I didn't look up.

"Who's going to hate you!? Find out what?! Mitch, please, what's going on?!" Kirstie said caringly but also with a sense of worry and urgence. I feel so guilty because she seems very panicked. Why do I have that affect of people? Always causing them to hurt?

"Scott!! Kirst, Scott is going to hate my guts...I did something bad and he'll hate me because I feel like I don't even regret what I did..." I tell her, beginning to take off my jacket carefully.

"Mitch, please, tell me what happened. What did you do?! What is so bad that you think Scott is going to hate you for it?!" She grabs my shoulders showing me that she's kinda upset with me. 

Ya know what, screw it. I'm just gonna show her and get it over with!

"This..." is all I could whisper as I roll up my sleeves and show her my bloody and freshly cut up arms. I almost instantly regret showing her my arms because of her reaction.

"Oh my god, Mitch..." I barely hear her. I can tell she's already on the verge of tears. She grabs my wrists gently, examining them as a tear rolls down her cheek.

"Why? Why would you do this to yourself?" I just wanted to tell her everything then and there, spill my heart and soul and all of my emotions out to her, but I don't think it's safe enough for that yet. I don't want to put her through my pain. I would never wish that upon anyone. But she has to know something, she already knows this much, might as well tell her more.

"Kirst, I can't take this. It’s all too much!!" I say and began sobbing again. "But....but that's not all..."

She looks at me, horrified. "Mitch... W-what could possibly be worse than this?!" She said, her voice barely audible and her teary eyes still glued to my wrists.

"I....I have anorexia....My doctor told me I look like a skeleton under my baggy clothes...But I just can't believe him...No matter how hard I try all I see and feel is fat and ugly..." Kirstie reaches over and hugs me super tight.

"Mitch... I'm so sorry.... I should've noticed before... I feel so stupid... I'm so, so sorry..." She whispered, tears now staining my shoulder. Hearing her apologizing is making me feel even more like shit. It's not her fault I'm ugly. All I seem to be doing is making people upset. I hate that about myself. I make every one and everything around me sad. The worst part is, there's nothing I can do about it.