Introvert diaries - high school edition

Friends?

How strong really are high school friendships?

It seems like people think we're supposed to make a lot of friends in high school, and that there friendships will last forever. But it's hard for me to imagine it that way.

I might not have too many close friends, but to me, the big friend groups don't really seem close. It seems almost convenient just to have friends, either people who went to the same school before or bonded by a common interest. For example, group projects. It makes me anxious to try and find people who are willing to work with me, and I'd really rather do it all by myself. But on the plus side, if classmates have to call on each other I won't be picked. This also means people not knowing my name.

And of course, there are people that I want to talk to but am too shy/afraid to. There are nice enough people in my classes that I could maybe be friends with, but I don't want to seem annoying or like a bother. And for the ones by themselves, maybe they just prefer to be alone, and I get that.

It's also funny how a lot of the people I want to talk to are all in the group. I don't know how that happened and maybe if I acted sooner, I would be there too. But now it's too late, and I don't want to be that person to try and worm my way in.

But now, I have a routine. I have one friend from my old school, a friend in most of my classes who I eat lunch with, and a whole lot of acquaintances. It's not so bad, but it makes me think that it'll be this way for a long time. I'm not eager enough for friends to be willing to change myself too much.

And to whoever's reading this, I hope you don't feel like you have to fit in to be happy, or that you have to change yourself completely to fit in to be 'happy'. Plus, it's more important to love yourself before you can love someone else, and that's something we can work on together:)