Chapter 15

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Kate should have been asleep; her body was tired, exhausted even, yet there she was, wide awake. Rick was sound asleep behind her; his soft repetitive snore vibrating against her back, his breath tickling the tiny hairs on her neck. She was so comfortable, so warm; cocooned by her husband. His arms held her close to his chest, their legs tangled, his body matching hers curve-for-curve. Slumber should be so easily achieved yet somehow it eluded her.

Kate wasn't one to count sheep or drink warm milk. When it came to insomnia, only two remedies came to mind; sex and work. The first remedy had already been applied this evening, twice. The second wouldn't have been an option even if they hadn't just returned from a two week vacation; her modified duty status meant no taking work home. Not wanting to disturb him, but not able to just lay there any longer, Kate slowly slipped from Rick's embrace and scooted out of bed.

Considering the shorts and tank top she had put on before bed were, at this moment, in a pile on the bathroom floor, she silently pulled one of Rick's oversized t-shirts from the dresser drawer and slipped it over her head; she paired it with a set of his boxers. Kate preferred wearing his dress shirts, but right now the material would have proved binding around the middle. Pretty soon she wouldn't even be able to button them up.

Now, at least somewhat clothed her shuffled across the room toward the door. She hadn't glanced at the clock but with the current darkness she guessed it to be late evening; the moon not yet high enough in the sky to cast its soft glow into the room. Before she reached her destination her foot brushed against something on the floor. She reached down to find their only yet unpacked piece of luggage. She picked it up and carried it to the living room. With her feet resting on the coffee table, Kate flipped on the side table lamp and propped the relatively small suitcase on her lap. She begins to unzip it.

Kate had never been the excitable type. She never sat up waiting for Santa Clause and his eight reindeer, she never laid in bed wide-eyed because the next day was her birthday and her parents had hinted at a huge surprise. It just wasn't in her nature to look forward. Katherine Beckett; the only child, the relative orphan, the cop, the betrayed; that Kate reflected, stewed, questioned and often regretted. Katherine Castle, however, the wife, the lover, the partner, the cherished; this Kate hoped, appreciated, wondered and for the first time since her mother's murder she dreamed. She dreamed of many more nights wrapped in the arms of Richard Castle. She dreamed of birthday parties and play dates. She dreamed of report cards and graduations. Sometimes she even dreamed of a red-headed bride and her love for the fumbling father-of.

Now sitting in relative darkness, listening to the buzz of the zipper as she opened the suitcase, Kate got truly excited, her mind leapt forward in time. She again begins to imagine her babies. She pulled out sets of matching outfits; running her fingers over the soft cloth and smiling at the cute designs on each; the animals made her laugh, the suns and moons seemed so precious. She tried to picture the angelic faces that would soon be filling the garments. She imagined chubby little arms and legs complete with rolls of fat. She pictured four little feet, each with five perfect toes and how they would fill the adorable booties Rick had picked out. About halfway through the contents her fatigue begins to takeover. She let's the case fall from her lap and she curled up against the arm of the sofa. She hugged a set of yellow rompers to her chest and as the pull of sleep finally claimed her, for the first time in years, Kate hoped her imaginings would flow over into her dreams.

Rick struggled to his cell phone. He could hear it buzzing. Logic told him it was on his nightstand but he was so completely out of it that locating the device felt like an almost impossible task.

"Hmmm." It was all the response he could muster.

"Hey Dad, did I wake you up?"

"Uh-huh." He nodded his head trying to lift the fog.

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