[Philophobia] • Eric Cartman x Reader

[2] Classroom antics

.°•your pov•°.
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9:29am • December 2nd

   Class with Mr. Garrison was eventful to say the least. everything started off smoothly until he began to teach.
He started ranting about how Canadians were ruining this country and how Kim Kardashian and him smoked pot together back when he was a teenager
during that class, Clyde and Token talked to me - well more like gossiped to me about everyone and everything around us.

"Alright since you guys know so much about everyone" i thought for a moment, what could i ask? of course i wanted to know more about Eric but then i remembered something someone had said about kyle earlier..

"Is it true Kyle hits on like all the girls? especially the newer ones?" i asked clueless, only to receive Clyde bursting out in laughter and token smiling

"Lemme guess? cartman told you that?" token asked, "yeah and stan said it was true?"  i said but it came out more as a question than a statement

"OhH my god Y/N ok listen, Kyle hasn't realized it yet but that boys gay." Clyde said "oh yea super gay, like gayer than Craig and Tweek combined" token added "Absolutely."

"How can you be so sure? like this morning he wanted to sit with me and even like .. got mad when Stan didnt like that idea!" i said a bit confused

"Was the only other open seat between the six of you next to cartman?" token asked and i nodded
"well that explai-" before he could anwser my confirmation, mr garrison finally got sick of us talking

"Y/N, CLYDE, TOKEN, SHUT UP OR GET OUT" he said angryly and that got us to finally shut up.

from then on till the rest of class we sat in silence, not wanting to get kicked out. personally i didnt mind if i was but it'd just bring to much trouble later on. when class was over, i walked out with the two boys..

"So whats with Eric? you guys, and Heidi have all told me hes an asshole but he seems nice?" i said turning to them

"Oh.. well you see.." token was about to tell me about it until clyde interuppted him "they used to date back in the 4th grade and Eric was the worstttt he tried to kill her like 5 times"

"I'm sure you're being dramatic, right..?" i asked not believing it.

"Nope hes not being dramatic" a familiar voice from behind us chimed in, belonging to Stan Marsh, "Cartmans a psychopath, its best you stay away from em" i turned to stan who was with Kyle "Yea he even killed a kids parents and mixxed their remains with chili, then made the kid eat it." the ginger said

"Well if hes that bad, one why isn't he in jail, and two why are you" i pointed to stan and kyle "friends with him" i dont know what came over me but i was upset to say the least, i really liked everyone around me and everyone I've met so far but this all seemed a bit to crazy..?

"Well he didn't kill the parents, he led them onto a crazy old guys farm and the guy shot them and killed them. he stole the bodies without anyone knowing." token said

"and we're friends with him because who knows what'll happen if a guy like that loses all his friends.. i mean this is America, school shootings are pretty frequent and hes definitely the type." Kyle added

"i dont wanna get shot in another one of those things.." stan said and i gasped out loud
before the conversation could continue though the bell rang "hey do any of you guys know where Mrs White's art class is?" i asked the 4 around me

"Oh hey, thats actually where I'm headed Y/N" stan smiled "oh awesome!" i said actually really happy

"Well i got Mr Garrison, bye Y/N, bye ugly" kyle said i laughed at the nickname he gave Stan and noticed Token and Clyde had already left. "Bye sexy" stan winked at Kyle just for Kyle to flip him off and storm into the class "No homo" stan shouted before turning back to me