Lets just say the title is: Brendon Urie's Forehead being used as a scale

1 - Try To Find All The Puns In This Chapter,and oh yeah, Thanks Pete

Gerard's gay kicks in.
He comes home from school and drops his school bag carelessly,stripping down from his clothes (mentally wanting a dick in his ass,sighing because he can't get any) and walks into the kitchen naked,scavenging for peanut butter as his flesh prison is being a bitch and his body wants something to digest other his mom packing froot roll ups in his lunch while a tall lesbian took his sandwich and that one emo guy from his table takes his juice pouch in exchange for something else he happily murmured,sipping the juice pouch. Britney Spears was being blared in the house as his momther was at work and beloved brother was probably hanging out with his cool and young hip friends from this generation. Once Gerard's flesh prison was being satisfied and his face was covered in the brown gooey,delicious stuff,the door was being knocked frantically and someone was yelling "DINGDONGDINGDONGDINGDON" repeatedly outside.
Gerard took a old hello kitty blanket from the couch and covered himself up,walking to the door to strangle whoever made him drop his peanut butter jar.
Before he could open it,there lie Pete Wentz welcoming himself to Gerard's house,Oops I Did It Again playing in the back,and plopping himself on the couch,Gerard mumbling a "welcome Pete,sure come in barging unannounced;wonderful",the old dog laying in its bed not lifting a overly excited paw to greet the guest,or Gerard thought,'Motherfucking emo intruder'.
"Wassup homie-skillet-dog my nihgga" Pete said in a strange accent,taking off his probably $5 shades from Forever 21 and crossing his arms.
"Pete w-what are you doing? More importantly,what in the god of fuck are you wearing? " Gerard nicely retorts at one of his best friends.
"I've changed Gee,I wanna be like one of those really cool kids,y'know,with the slang things and memes and 'chill' stuff" Pete vaguely explains.
"Pete," The gay naked teen scoffs,
"You have a Myspace,you wear raccoon eyeliner,straighten your hair,and still cry about the You Belong With Me music video."
The emo "gangster" child sighs,pulling up his sagged pants,fixes his emo fringe,and takes off his SnapBack.
"So who ya banging" he says,rejoining the emo. Once an emo,always an emo.
"W-wha? Pete,I'm not-"
"Why are you naked then?"
"Pete"
"Okay,okay" The honest teen raises his hands in surrender.
"Why are you here Wentz" Gerard bluntly asks,still baffled from Pete's assumptions.
The raccoon guy tosses Gerard a ziplock bag,flipping through channels on the t.v. Gerard lets the bag plop on the floor and sighs,bending down and and picking up the Baggie of whatever shit Pete just stuffed in there.
"Pete,what the fuck is-"
"In return of shamelessly stealing your beloved juice pack,I give you,the glorious bag of weed."
"Pete" Said Gerard in confusion "where did you even get this shit"
"This guy named Bob-I woke him up in an alleyway,and boy,was he fucking stoned"
"Gee,thanks Pete" the homosexual lad said to his quite rather Taylor Swift emotional and just over the limit of emo acquaintance.
That's when the emo hippie friend with a massive forehead and head over heels with guys barges in,greeting a "hey",pushing the raccoon eyed boy off the couch onto the floor and plopping his ass on the seat. Pete faceplanted on a spot on the ground Gerard's boring dog took a piss on last week,but Gerard was too busy texting his mum a "we need a better lock" to inform that Pete was inhaling Frankie the old stinky dog's urine.
"Guys I need hel- is-
is that a bag of weed?" Brendon cut himself off,his eyes turning into the size of the moon looking at the bagged contents.
"Ask Pete" Gerard mumbled,going into his room to wear *shivers* clothes and most importantly,pants.
"Jesus Christ Pete we're juniors in high school"
"Yeah,yeah I get it mom" and right there Brendon was about to slap Pete in the face for being a cactus cunt.
Gerard walked in fully clothed and no longer nude rolled up in a hello kitty blanket.
"Hey Bren,why do you look so Brendone?" Gee snickered,causing him and Pete to laugh hysterically,high fiving,and Brendon Urie visualizing throwing Gerard Way against a wall. But luckily the period blood colored hair Senior didn't get his body thrashed at his living room wall.
"So what do you need?" Gerard asks.
"Well,there's this guy named Ryan-"
"Fuck him in butt! There,bam,problem solved." Pete explains,inviting himself to walk into the Way resident's kitchen and taking a mini bag of Doritos.
"No," Brendon rolls his eyes, "He walked me to my locker while we were talking and,well,we were just talking and he invited me to this party and he said to invite some friends."
"Wait," Gerard says confusingly, "You mean Ross? Emo circus hippie guy from science that throws scratched off eraser bits at the teacher when she's not looking?"
"Gee how many Ryan's do you know" The Dorito thief asked with a scowl.
"Well, I-"
"Guys,whatever. Anywhore I'm inviting our squad-"
"Bren honey,squad? Really?" Pete rolled his eyes.
"Shush," Brendon swatted his hand, "So I'm inviting you guys along with me. Cause you cunts need to get a life other than Lynn-Z who's in a relationship (something we'll never have) and she's in a band."
"Yeah,Gerard" Pete smirked,stretching out the "yeah".
"Thanks but no,I'm not my brother,and besides I'm the only male in the school that wears skirts and flowercrowns." The red head said.
"Sweetheart,there's supposed to be a time in your life where you need to search for new and different feelings-wait okay let me restate this,you need to get laid dude." Brendon stated,Pete choking from trying not to laugh.
"I have a life,I get fucked,I don't need to go to this stupid party" Gerard said in response.
"Dude,first you text us and bawl that you want to get fucked and eat ice cream,second,if you have gotten laid we would've known,and yes you do need to go because we're telling you to." Pete said to Gerard in a knowingly tone,smirking.
"You too Pete" Bren said,rummaging through the fringe for a soda while Pete groaned in response.
"Hey bitches" a red lipped pigtail lesbian came in,sitting on top of one of the armrests of the couch.
"Seriously what is it with people coming in my fucking house." The crossdressing gay man stood up from his seat and walked over to lock the goddamn door.
"Pete,what are yo-"
"OKAY,OKAY,I GIVE UP! SPECIAL THANKS TO LINDSEY BALLATO WOO RANDOM APPLAUSE!" Pete Wentz yelled out in frustration,putting his Doritos down on the coffee table,taking off his cheap shades and walking into the Way resident's bathroom.
"What was that all about?" The supreme of lesbians asked,stealing the frustrated emo's bag of chips.
"I-I don't know..." Forehead man replied,looking at the shrugging Gerard.
"I'M DONE,I'M DONE! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ABUSE ANYMORE!" Pete Wentz cried in frustration in the background,
"MOTHER I AM JOINING THE MINISTRY OF REPTILE TO BUILD A CROCODILE ARMY!" He finished,opening the toilet lid almost shoving his foot along the rest of his body down,wanting to flush himself.