Stay with me

.2.

\mention of suicide\sexual\ \content. Death\

Why does this keep happening to me?

Why?

It was late I stayed in my bed all day. Waiting for this torture.

I didn't want to see him.
I also didn't want to feel his filthy hands on my body.
Pulling my blanket up more as I try to relax. I already showered and prepared myself. I don't wanna get ripped in half.

That shit hurts.

I still have 1 hour until he is here. I should just drink soap. Maybe that would kill me somehow.
Or I should just drown myself in my bathtub. That would work, right?
A whole night.

I can see myself rubbing my skin in the shower after that.
We are just objects.
They can play with us like we are toys. They can do whatever they want.

Oh, they don't even care if they choke to death while they are fucking you.
It happens a lot.
Like with the last girl. She got choked to death.
They usually just drop the bodies in the street.

We are just bodies without feelings.

I close my eyes so I can sleep. A little.

What the fuck is this sound like?
I sit up as I hear someone knocking on my door.
Shit. I quickly fix my hair.
I fix my robe I grab the door handle and open it up.

"Sasuke my dear." He smirks.
He lets himself in.

I feel my stomach flip as he calls me 'dear'.

I close the door.

"You are still beautiful as ever." He gets close to me and he grabs my face looking into my eyes.

"How about you helping me undress?" He brushed my hair out of my face.
I feel so uncomfortable.

I get my shaking hands to his buttons as I started getting his suit off.
I feel myself getting dizzy.
As the world spins with me.
I don't wanna do this I bit my bottom lip as I finish it.
He takes his clothes off so I can see his naked stomach.

Ew.

He sits on my bed and he pats his lap.

"Come on beautiful. Strip for me." He looks at me like a hungry lion.

I am just an animal.
A dog that gets food and a house. I don't get loved.

If I try to enjoy it will it end faster? Or it would just feel like years?

I start stepping closer to him.
Trying my best to not show my trembling moves.

I feel sit down on his lap and put my hands around his neck.

He kisses me. I will throw up.
Please stop.

Please.

_______________________________

"Shit, why are we here?" I ask as we look around I was here with three of my colleagues.

I fix my tie as I get it off my car.
I am on the poor side of the city.

"We need to see what kind of things we could fix and then start the work." He said he got his gun loaded. I had one too.
I never killed anyone.
I don't plan to do it anytime soon.

"I see." I look around, of course, I have seen it from my window and I heard people telling me about it.

I never smelled something this awful.
I mentally gag.