wish I didn't doubt it

two: Sunday

Sunday. My second favorite day of the week.
Maria had left in the morning, saying something about how she would miss her flight. I wouldn't know, I was half asleep. She gave me one last hug, which I couldn't return since I was in bed, and left. I soon went back to sleep after that, and woke up around 3 hours later. I laid on my bed, thinking about yesterday.
Why did Maria get so pushy? She knew nothing was wrong. She knew I'm okay. I'm on a steady schedule of routine, I'm doing okay.
That's weird. Maybe I should get up and eat before I worry more about it.
Yeah. I'll do that.
I get out of bed, stretching. Oil followed after me, rubbing on my legs. I look down at her, and smile, picking her up and scratching her chin. I walk into the kitchen, putting her down on the floor. I open the cupboards, and grab a can of wet food, opening it and putting it in Oil's food bowl. I was always told that wet food smelled terrible.
I couldn't judge that, since I couldn't smell it, really. It's not pungent enough.
I throw the can out, and open the fridge, pulling out leftover sausage from yesterday. I grab some eggs, and put them down on the counter, grabbing a pan and putting it on the stove. I fry my eggs and sausage, and put it on a plate, putting the pan in the sink. I grab a fork, and sit down to eat.
Simple things like that. I was slowly learning how to do that.
I still don't know why I'm still learning, but it's happening and I can't say much about it.
I finish my plate, throwing it in the sink. I go to my bathroom, locking the door on my way in. I don't know why I do that. Comfort reasons, maybe. I turn the shower on, and let it warm. I look at the mirror.
I never liked my reflection. I hated looking at how others see me. And I hated the fact that I needed glasses in order to see, in general.
And I can't remember where I got these scars from. The only one I remember is the one on my chin, and that one was from someone I don't remember.
I don't know why I don't remember. Half of my life seems blurry. 
Maria tried talking to me about it once, but I was to busy cuddling into her neck. I didn't hear a word.
I should listen more. I sigh, and  take my clothing off, getting into the shower. I take my time, because after all, this is my day off.
I'm not seeing anyone today, or going anywhere. I'm just going to huddle up on the couch and watch movies all day. That's all. Once I'm done, I get out, and leave the bathroom, going to my room to get a change of clothes on. I put some comfortable pants on, and a comfortable shirt, and leave my hair to air dry. I walk out of my room and into the living room, sitting down on the couch and covering myself with a blanket. Oil jumps onto the couch, and slots herself next to my thigh. I pet her, feeling her purr. I use the remote, and turn on a movie, and I relax myself.
Today, I relax. Yes, nothing more then just relax.
-
A few hours later, I get up to feed Oil again. I also grab myself a snack while I'm at it. I grab my phone, and check for notifications.
Maria texted me, and I texted back. My therapist texted me, and I did the same.
And there was one more number.... But I didn't recognize it. I shrugged it off, figuring it was spam, and I blocked the number. I play few games, before putting my phone in my pocket and walking back to the couch. I sit down, and turn the movie I was watching back on, but that was when I got another text.
I take my phone from my pocket and open it, only to find that another spam number texted me.
Odd. I normally don't get two spam numbers in one sitting. But, once again, I shrug it off. Blocking the number. And I leave it at that.
-
I didn't get another spam number until about 30 minutes later, and that's when I decide that maybe the number isn't spam. I open up the conversation, and I text back.
Lilith: Who is this?
It's a simple question. I want this number to quit bothering me. Today was my day off. I just want to relax.
It wasn't long before I got a reply back.
Unknown: Thanks for replying, finally. I'll tell you what you need to know, but first I need you to do something for me.
Weird text.
But... for some reason, this all feels familiar.
A little too familiar.
Lilith: What do you what?

I reply back. I want to know what I would do, before I make a choice to block this number and forget it exists.
Unknown: I want to help. You are being tracked down by S.H.I.E.L.D.

Tracked?
Lilith: How do you know you even have the right number?

There. That should set things right. This person more then likely has the wrong number, and they are mistaken.
Unknown: You are Lilith Noviekoff, right?

Okay. Nope. They definitely don't have the wrong number.
I don't freak though. This is interesting. I don't know what S.H.I.E.L.D is, nor have I ever heard of them. But... the name sounds so damn familiar.
Lilith: How do you know that? Who even are you?

I send.
Unknown: Lilith, it's me. Do you not recognize the number?

I tilt my head. The number isn't familiar to me, right? No... I haven't ever seen it before.
...Wait. That's not right. I have seen it before.
But why am I denying it?
Lilith: No. I don't. Tell me who you are before I block this number.

Unknown: Lilith, it's me. Natasha. Natasha Romanoff.

I furrow my eyebrows.
I don't recognize that name.
Or do I...?
No. I don't.
I don't.
I don't.
Right?
....
Then how the hell can I easily visualize what she would look like? No. No. No no no no this isn't right! I don't know who she is!
I don't know who Natasha Romanoff is.
So why the hell, why the fuck are so many things coming back to me?
No, no no no no fuck no! Why is half my life coming back??
I feel my hands shaking.
Why am I shaking?
...
No. This isn't right. Why do I remember her suddenly? No. I don't know Natasha.
I throw my phone down and get up to run to the bathroom. I open the mirror, and snag my pills, taking one. And another.
And another. And soon, the pills are spilled in the sink.
Fuck, this isn't right.
I shouldn't remember that name.
I shouldn't, I can't.
Damn it.
-
Heyo! This is chapter two! I hope you liked it!
I just want to say thank you for reading! I love writing like this, writing all confused and disoriented. After all, Lilith is very disoriented.