Praise me, Love me, Kill me | Stray Kids AU | Minsung

Cold

Jisung's apartament

Jisung unlocked the door and leaned on it, trying to hold his tears.

He hated himself for being such a crybaby. Why was he crying after a boy in the first place? Just why? After all he went through, you would think his heart is made of stone. Yet there he was. Hugging his knees and crying.

-Ji?

The latter rose his gaze and met with a worried Hyunjin rushing towards him.

-Hey, what happened? Are you hurt?

-I thought you are coming tomorrow, said Jisung between the sobs.

-I finished earlier. Who hurt my baby? Tell me, replied Hyunjin caressing Jisung's hair.

-It's nothing. I'm just overreacting.

-No, you never do. You're always justified and I wish you could accept yourself like I do.

Jisung looked at Hyunjin with big eyes, then swiped on the floor one of the presents.

-What's this? the taller asked confused.

He opened it carefully and gasped when he saw an expensive leather jacket.

-It's for you, said Jisung which made Hyunjin widen his eyes.

-What?

-Because of us you couldn't celebrate Christmas. I wanted to give that joy back to you.

That gesture melted Hyunjin heart. He pressed his lips against Jisung's forehead while the younger closed his eyes to feel the warmth.

-I don't really know where are we supposed to give gifts, said Jisung rubbing his nape. I'm sorry.

-It' ok. We're gonna put the presents under the Christmas tree and wait until the morning of 25th.

-What's a Christmas tree? asked Jisung genuinely confused.

-I'll show you, said Hyunjin running to his room and coming back with his sketch notebook.

He draw quickly a tree and put it on the wall with tape.

-This is all I can do until I go buy a real one.

-You have talent at drawing, said Jisung looking at the details.

-I started scribbling to keep my mental health when I was in that cage. Loneliness can be a very harsh to take.

Jisung looked at him with a sad look upon his face. He wasn't that comfortable with recalling the old times. Not at all. That cage was still in his nightmares.

-I'll go now, ok? I'll be back with a tree, said Hyunjin cupping Jisung's cheeks and kissing him on the lips this time.

Now I know what you're all thinking about.

Jisung is playing at both sides of the table. But he really isn't. In his head Minho and Hyunjin are two different worlds.

Minho is a love interest that he urges for unconditionally. Hyunjin is a link of his past, a friend, roommate and sometimes a way to satisfy his desires. Like friends with benefits.

Jisung didn't really saw the problem with Hyunjin kissing him. It was a form of affection. What's wrong with that? Jisung loved affection even tho he thought he didn't deserve it.

Jisung curled up in his bed, waiting silently for anyone to come home and to ask him how is he or at least to notice him.

He was feeling lonely again.