Not So Perfect

(3)

Anytime that Thomas or Alice asked me if I'd told my parents, I would change the subject. I knew I needed to tell them soon. Pushing it off was just easier than dealing with the scene it will surely cause.

Unexpectedly they were waiting for me to come down this morning. The tone my mother used was like every other time she's been angry. She doesn't leave room for argument.

They both wait in the family room, the air thick with tension. I sit on the chair across from them. Waiting for them to tell me what I did wrong. Assuming that it had something to do with work or school.

Dad holds a white sheet of paper out for me to take. It's a list, one side having items and the other dates, prices, and even times. My eyes immediately roam to the red pen that has been used to circle one of my recent purchases.

I completely forgot about it. It never crossed my mind to use cash to prevent my parents from finding out. I've always thought things through but my minds been a disaster. It's been nearly impossible to even remember what I'm doing.

I lift my head up to face them. This is it, I can see it in my mothers' eyes and the way my fathers' jaw ticks.

My mother crosses her arms. "Tell me this is a mistake?" Her voice is low and intimidating although I've heard it a million times.

I toss the paper on the coffee table, with my head raised I say, "I was planning on telling you."

Now it's dads turn to hold my gaze. "Tell us what? That you ruined your entire life?"

My father has always been a calm person. He hides his anger easily, better than my mom does. Growing up, he never raised his voice or punished us. He wouldn't give us that look to warn us as my mother did. He simply isolated himself and talked to us when he was calm.

I definitely took after him meanwhile Holly after my mother.

I swallow the lump in my throat, my mouth feeling unusually dry. "I'm having the baby," I say. "I'll figure things out afterward."

As expected my mother doesn't hesitate to try to control me."Raising a child isn't easy. I will make an appointment and you will terminate this pregnancy." Her words would normally affect me. I'd allow her to control my life and let her walk away with the final say.

This time it's different. We aren't discussing something that can simply be undone, not without me standing up for myself. Before she can leave the room, I raise my voice for her to hear me loud and clear. I watch her turn back to me, raising a brow. With my eyes trained on hers, I repeat myself.

"I'm not doing that mom, I'm keeping the baby."

My dad rubs his temples in frustration. "Bea, your mother is trying to help you." He sighs.

I shake my head instead, allowing myself to say what I've always wanted to say. "She's afraid of the humiliation from the public. You're so used to having a perfect daughter and family image, that you're desperate to keep it that way. Too bad I'm not like Holly!"

Her usual green eyes are a darker shade, hiding any light in them."You are nothing like Holly. We always wanted two perfect daughters to follow in our success. But here you are, ruining your life and disrespecting the two people who raised you."

I clench my teeth, feeling myself shake with anger.

"The day that I was born was the day that you three plotted to make my life a living hell. It's always been about Holly, I'm sick of it! I'm nothing like her and you should be proud, I'll never be as desperate for attention as she is!"

My mother's hand collides with my cheek, the sound of the slap echoing throughout the room. I hold the side of my face, feeling it throb as my vision becomes blurry with tears.

This is the second time that she has put her hands on me. And the second time that my own dad has watched with a blank stare. They both show no sympathy towards me.

Without another word, I rush upstairs. Once I'm calm enough I send Alice a message to let her know if went bad. She immediately responded and told me to drive to her apartment.

I pack some of my clothes and anything I can fit into the duffle bag and suitcase. Alice lives almost an hour away which will only help clear my mind. I'll also probably stop to get something to eat.

My stomach grumbles in hunger although the thought of food right now isn't helping. Looking around my room I make my bed and make sure I have what I need.

Taking one last glance before shutting the door and hauling the bags down the stairs. I can hear their low voices in the kitchen. It's difficult to sneak out quietly when I'm carrying two bags that ate my weight combined.

The chair scrapes when I've gotten my shoes on. I hear heavy footsteps behind me before my dad calls my name.

Dropping my hand from the doorknob I turn around. "Yes?"

He eyes the bags on the floor, raising a brow. "You're leaving?"

I nod, even if it's obvious enough. "I have to," I say.

"If you do as your mother says, you can stay." They don't seem to understand that.

"I know." I grip the doorknob, getting my bags on the porch. "Bye," I mumble, struggling to carry my things.

I don't look back, only hearing the door shut behind me. My main concern is fitting everything in my car. After some lifting and huffing, I manage to fit it all in my back seat.

The drive isn't bad since I stopped halfway for some food. Taking the time to let Thomas know where I'll be staying for the next three months or so.

Alice had a spare bedroom in her apartment that she had recently turned into the guest bedroom. As soon as I told her that I was pregnant, she completely made this room for me. It's true that she's been wanting us to be roommates since she moved away last year.

I've never been more grateful to have her in my life than I am right now.