Not So Perfect

(18)

Since I agreed to help my mother prepare for Holly and Landon's' engagement party, I will be staying in my old room for the weekend. It's exactly the same, nothing touched except the bedsheets that smell freshly washed.

I brought a bag with a change of clothes and a few other things. My mom is already in the family room ready for me to help. Leaving my things on the bed, I make my way downstairs.

There are boxes of decorations on the floor. My mom sits on the couch, wearing a casual outfit of jeans and a v-neck shirt.

"Your grandparents are driving down here, I need to get the guest room ready." She tells me. "You can go ahead and unbox the decorations that go on the table."

I nod listening to what she says. She leaves to go upstairs leaving me to the rest. It doesn't take long for me to finish, standing back to make sure it's perfect.

I leave the balloons for tomorrow like my mom advised.

I decided to help my mom with the spare bedroom. My grandparents live nearly four hours away and they're actually coming. It still doesn't make sense to me that they don't just wait for the actual wedding.

I would understand a small family gathering but I guess my mom wanted to plan this. And because a party isn't enough, we're all having a giant family lunch on Sunday.

I help my mom put the new bedsheets on, the silence making every second seem longer.

"Will you and Thomas start looking for a place soon?" And suddenly I prefer silence.

I keep my head down, my hair covering my face. "We're just getting our own places," I tell her.

My eyes meet hers and I feel small again. She doesn't judge me instead nodding. "Have you talked about getting married at least?"

I bite the inside of my cheek, discreetly sighing. "Mom, we aren't getting back together." I leave out any other details.

My mom would have never let this go. A few weeks ago, she'd tell me to get together with Thomas. Afraid of what people will say when they find out that I'm not with him.

So to my surprise, she drops the conversation. "I'm going to start on dinner." She smiles.

Everything feels so different and forced. I can tell that she's trying to stop being how she used to be. Very controlling and difficult.

I simply nod and walk behind her, shutting the door. I spend the rest of the time in my old room. I worked today and got off at two as usual. The drive was tiring due to the traffic being so bad and I am starting to really feel it.

A nap won't hurt anyone I think to myself.

My head pounds as I get up. My arm fell asleep and it feels like someone hit me with a baseball bat. Wincing, I sit up on the bed to check the time, my eyes widening when I see that it's almost eight. I must have slept through dinner which explains my hunger.

"Bea?" I rub my temples to ease the pain, hearing my mom knocking on the door.

She takes in my disheveled appearance and frowns. "Your grandparents want to see you." She says.

I nod, my throat dry and stomach begging for food. "I'll be there in a minute." I guess I still have a chance to eat.

I take the time to go to the bathroom and fix my hair. I don't have dark circles under my eyes but it feels like I slept through an entire year. Sleeping didn't help at all.

I hear familiar voices as I slowly walk down the stairs.

Several greetings are thrown at me. My dads' parents sit at the table with my aunt Rose and her husband. I smile, the only thing on my mind being food and the terrible headache I currently have.