Not So Perfect

(9)

"What are you doing here?" She asks.

I nervously look at the ground. "I came with Thomas," I say simply, my eyes darting to find any sort of resentment on her face.

She nods, her eyes skimming over my body almost as if checking for herself if I'm really pregnant. My stomach is still the same or I would have opted out of wearing a tight fitted dress.

Her lips are pressed in a tight line. "Your choice is final then?" She asks. "You're having the baby?"

I respond with a nod to prevent an argument. We can do this anywhere but here. I came for Thomas and I don't feel like discussing such a private thing when anyone could walk in.

She doesn't give me a disgusted look like I was expecting. Instead, she gives me the smallest hint of a smile. "I'm proud of you."

My breath gets stuck in my throat wondering if I heard her right. "You're what?" I ask in shock.

For the first time in my life, my mother has said the words that I have been wanting to hear.

Her eyes flash with a hint of sadness. "I will admit fully to trying to control your decisions. From my stance, having a child at a young age is the equivalent to ruining your future. But your father and I have both agreed that we handled it the wrong way." I've never seen my mother show an emotion that doesn't involve her being disappointed in me.

I'm still bewildered but I take in her words before smiling. "Thank you," I say, meaning it in every way.

She nods, "You're welcome to move back in if you have to."

There must be some catch to it.

"Thank you, I actually plan on staying with a friend for two or three months and then move on my own." Her gaze on me, soaking in every word.

My mother is a beautiful woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. She has wrinkles on her forehead that are barely noticeable. Overall for someone who works all the time, she keeps herself put together every day.

I can sense her guilt and I'm brought back to reality.

"That's good Beatrice." She says, "Your father would love to see you." She adds.

I nod, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Okay."

This isn't the same women that slapped me and wanted me to undo my pregnancy. I feel my stomach twist at the memory. Why am I forgiving her so easily I ask myself.

She looks at me once more before turning to leave. "I'm sorry again."

I don't get to respond due to how quick she leaves. My heart thumps loudly as I take in what just happened. My phone vibrates in my purse pulling me out of my thoughts.

I gather myself and go back to Thomas. He gives me a concerned look when I sit down.

"What happened? I saw your mom come out just now."

He searches my face for something, I smile to reassure him. "Yeah, we talked but I'm okay." I nod.

He doesn't buy it his gaze settling on my mother. She's talking to one of her friends but I catch my sister staring at us. I tear my eyes away from her scowl.

Everything is pretty much coming to an end. Thomas says goodbye to my father and a few other people. I wait by the door, wanting to talk to my dad but not knowing how to approach him.

He's surrounded by people, so we leave and I'm left feeling a little sad.

We get into my car, the radio immediately playing when Thomas starts the car. I rub my arms due to the night being a little windy.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay with me?" Thomas asks, giving me a side glance.

I lean my head back tiredly but mutter a no. "I can drive back."

He doesn't argue but I can tell that he wants to. I would rather get cleaned up and change into a pair of my own clothes. Though I do appreciate his concern.

We arrive at his house, the streetlights illuminating the driveway. I step out to get into the drivers side.

Thomas stands at the door, leaning down to look at me. "Drive safe." He says.

"I will. Thank you for inviting me." I tell him honestly.

He nods, "Thank you for saying yes." He chuckles. "Text me when you get home."

I smile, putting on my seatbelt. Nodding at his request.

He stands back allowing me to back out of the driveway. I wave one last time before pulling onto the road.

I regret not bringing a change of clothes because this dress is starting to feel tight.

The drive is shorter this time due to there not being traffic. Everyone is at home most likely getting ready for bed. I sigh, smiling when I park at the apartment complex.

"Finally," I mutter, texting Alice that I'm here.

She meets me at the front door.

"How was it?" She questions, letting me in.

The first thing I do is take my shoes off. "Let me get out of this and I'll let you know." I laugh.

Getting the makeup off and tying my hair up feels ten times better. The icing on the cake is when I change into something that won't squeeze the life out of me.

I join Alice in the living room where she's eagerly waiting.

Clapping her hands together she urges me to speak. "Did your sister try to start anything?" Is her first question.

I laugh, wondering what type of images she has on what might have happened.

After I've told her about my mom apologizing, we both head to bed. I'm exhausted from the drive itself. My bed feels softer than usual which only makes me sleepier.

I woke up feeling like last night was a lie. Even after a shower and breakfast did it feel fake. It's hard to comprehend that after being told what to do I finally stood up for myself and now they see how unfair they were.

I was proud myself for getting away from that house. So many terrible memories of being out of place and mistreated verbally.

But seeing my mothers guilt and regret made me immediately feel bad. So I pushed every single time that she made me miserable aside and accepted her apology.

Just like that.

And then I wonder why I constantly get screwed over. Because of how easily I let people get me sympathy.

My phone vibrates on the bed as I fold my clothes. Taking a second to put it all away and not worry about it later.

My dads' name pops up on the screen, a new message from him. I stare at the screen, so many things coming to mind. I bite my lip in anticipation, sliding to unlock the screen and pressing on the message.

Meet me for lunch, I want to talk to you.