the holy bible of quotes

holy bible of quotes
you find it offensive, i find it funny

"i like your glasses"
"they help me see"

IM GOING TO BOIL YOUR TEETH BITCH

*someone's knocking on door*
I DONT WANT ANY GIRL SCOUT COOKIES FUCK OFF

BITE ME

welp shit *folds the refrigerator*

*puts hand warmers in pillowcases so that both sides of the pillow are warm*

depresso espresso

shit the fuck up

"excuse me sir, could you just politely fuck off?"

preggo like an eggo

fuckwad, bullshit and asshat

grass watered with holy water is ✨holy grass✨

spain without p bc i need to be sane

👁👄👁
\__🍜\__/

the lore of the whore on the floor

get that head, get that bread, then leave, peace out 🥰✌️

grills and feemurls

what does a mathematical equation have in common with an onion? well you could say they both make you cry

gurlll what in the badly written soap opera is going on here lol

i then proceeded to chuck my phone across the room in fear.

yo my dudes 😎, im kyler 🤙, im 21 🎉, my friends 🥰 call me Lil Nug 🤭 (as in little nugget 🐓) because i once went to chik fil a 🍟 every monday 😝, wednesday 😏 and friday 😗 for three 3️⃣ months 📆 because that was the shift 📥 of the person 🧑‍🍳 who would lightly carress 😌 my hand 🤚 as they passed me 🤝 my food 🥪. i am also 🤨, believe it or not 🤫, extremely 😫 touch starved 🚫 🙏. i love 😍 the barbie 🧚‍♀️ cinematic 📽 universe ✨ and i cry 😢 a lot 😭. thank you 🙃.

you cant hold our actions against us

"what else can i do now im 17?"
"illegal substances"
"laugh at 16 year olds"
"..cry"

i sucked your dick, do you think I mind

i aspire to be my great grandmother
"you make me mad"
"i dont care"

he might have manipulated children but god did he look hot doing it

my tits, my choice

the damage is done and i want to see the world burn because of it

thank you for calling the city morgue. You stab them, we slab them

how about we go outside and you stand in front of my car while I "accidentally" run you over, hmm? sounds nice, doesnt it?

yeah im a gamer
g-my
a-wife
m-left
e-me
r-lmaoo

living is way too hard so why the fuck not die and enjoy my time in hell

you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain

B L E R D F O R T H E B L E R D G O D

cry yourself a river and drown in it

I will personally escort your asshole to my foot

cheese AND crack

dehydrated water....just add water

i love nobody and nobody loves me

"if you were my wife, id put poison in your coffee"
if you were my husband, i would drink it.