My partner

Over

Although it was early and they were both tired, waking up in each other's arm brought them peace. Katya borrowed Trixie's clothes and even if they were a bit too big she liked wearing her girl's things. She drove them to the headquarters and they shared one last kiss before putting on the act of being simple coworkers. This went on for the whole week, Trixie and Katya would sleep at either of their places and then go to work together. They were never away from each other and they loved it. Katya was so happy to have found someone who never judged her, who was always supportive and kind. Trixie was the most precious person on earth for her, and it was reciprocal. The younger blonde was obsessed with her girlfriend, she loved every single detail that made up her complex personality. Trixie was in love with her, and she was debating on whether she should say it yet or wait until they became something more serious.

On Monday they were called to their boss's office, Mrs Lisbon. Katya was convinced that it would be about sharing the case with the FBI, since it was becoming a national affair.

"Agent Zamolodchikova, agent Mattel. Sit down please" The woman said motioning to the chairs.

"I must say that you two have been very efficient together. However I know that you're in a relationship, you didn't manage to hide it that well. You are aware of the rules. I don't make them and I'm not happy to say this, but one of you will be transferred. I give you until Friday to tell me who." Lisbon said matter of factly. Trixie and Katya looked at each other worried and nodded to their boss. They exited the room and walked back to their shared office.

"It's okay Trixie we'll find you a good place wherever they send you and I'll come to see you every weekend." Katya reassured putting her hands on Trixie's waist.
"Excuse me? Why would I be the one to leave?"
"Well I've worked here longer than you... This was my first job and I worked really hard to get it."
"And what do you think I did? Nobody handed me my career" Trixie asked pushing Katya off of her.
"It's not the same thing. You didn't have to struggle like me, you surely had it easier"
"What do you know about it? Fuck Katya I thought you were different than all my other girlfriends. But I'm just a pretty face and fuckable body right? I have a background too you're not the only one who had a harsh past."
"I don't think of you like that at all baby don't get mad it just seemed logical to me."
"Don't call me baby. Besides if I move out you'll last two days before forgetting about me and hooking up with someone else. It's not worth it."
"Well if I'm not worth it than you're right. Don't make an effort to save what we have"
"I don't see why I should sacrifice myself and not you. Obviously you think you're better than me, so I think we're done here Katya" Trixie said calmly, which broke Katya's heart in a thousand pieces.

"If that's what you want" The older woman responded filled with sorrow.

Trixie nodded and sat at her desk, focusing herself on work. Katya stood in the same spot for a minute, completely shocked. She eventually did the same thing as Trixie. Katya was going crazy with how the reason to her pain was right in front of her yet so unattainable. The blonde seemed just fine, typing on her laptop like nothing happened. Maybe this relationship was just a fling to Trixie after all, Katya thought. They didn't exchange a word nor a look until 6 pm. Trixie stood up and gathered her things, then reached for the door handle.

"You want me to drive you home?" Katya asked tentatively.
"No" Trixie mumbled leaving the room. Katya felt tears prick her eyes so she quickly made her way to her car, watching her beautiful girlfriend wait for her uber on the sidewalk. Katya looked at her from the driver seat until she was gone and dropped her head against the wheel. She cried and sobbed loudly, already regretting falling in love with Trixie in the first place. She never shed a tear for a girl before, and she hated that Trixie was making this her first time. Katya had hope that this could be the one person she would stay with for years, move in and build a life together. She didn't realize how long she had been crying until she saw the dark sky. She drove home and went straight to bed, physically sick from all the sadness in her soul.

Trixie was crying in her pink sheets, sorry for herself that everyone she met always ended up hurting her. She surely participated in the mess that went down earlier that day, but she had been in the same situation so many times. Underestimated, used, played with, not seen as anything else than an attractive girl. Trixie saw the first signs of this in Katya and had to protect herself from a relationship that could become toxic. It was the only right thing to do. It would be hard the first days or weeks, but she managed to hate Katya at the beginning so she could always go back to that. Trixie wished that Katya would've said something else, run after her, told her that she was sorry and didn't mean anything. But it wasn't the case and she had to face the reality that they weren't meant to be.

Tuesday was an awful day for the both of them. This time there was no pretending, there was nothing between them but memories of what could have been. Trixie avoided Katya's eyes and any conversation with her because she knew deep down that her heart belonged to the older woman completely. Meeting her gaze or hearing her slight Russian accent for too long would make it impossible to hold back all these feelings that were still so true and mighty. Trixie told herself that it was only the first day, and with time her infatuation would hopefully die. What Katya read in Trixie's attitude was pure disinterest, the lack of any remaining kindness for her ex-girlfriend. She couldn't stop staring at the blonde to see if she was putting up an act but all it did was make Trixie visibly uncomfortable. Katya was defeated, lost and unable to behave normally. She forgot to drive away when the light got green, lost track of the interviews she was doing and smoked a cigarette every time she could. Her attitude was worrying Trixie but she didn't comment on it, afraid that it was a way to paint herself as the victim. However when the blonde got home she poured all her ache and hopeless love in writing new songs. On her side Katya was crying and painting a picture she took of Trixie on her balcony. She was wearing a pink robe and her hair was flowing with the wind. Her eyes and smile seemed to convey only love and tenderness. Katya had to put the brush down when she remembered all of this was just her imagination and the short time she had with Trixie was over.