𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐔𝐏𝐎𝐍 𝐔𝐒 | hoonki

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ

"ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ
ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴇʀᴄʏ ᴏɴ ᴍᴇ?
ɪ'ᴍ ᴀ ᴘᴜᴘᴘᴇᴛ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ
sᴛʀɪɴɢ"

— shawn mendes

#💥

I woke up this morning in a cool and non-lightened room, when I opened my eyelids I noticed how the room is left empty, again, I'm alone again like I always been and it's eating me up from the inside "why am I still alive..." I muttered to myself before my cell phone would vibrate uncontrollably, it's my mom, which mercilessly pierces my poor little heart in jamb, I don't need to hear her voice to know that she will never be there for me, and despite everything she's the one who ends up calling the emergencies.

I really need to get out of this bed, I haven't been at school for weeks. I just know that no one gives a fuck, I'm not mad about it, just a bit saddened. I only wished I had someone to care for me, a close friend, but it's not the case.

I managed to jiggle my body out of this execrable bed, needle in the crook of my elbow, it's disgusting, but I'm used to it after so many attempts and health issues "young Nishimura, aren't you supposed to stay in bed?!" a nurse worriedly shouted at me when I escaped from the door frame, let's say I stayed unbothered, a smirk drew wider on my lips as I took off the needle from my skin.

"I'm feeling like a newborn miss!" I told her while taking back my old clothes, they were clean and not covered of a toxic foam, it's reassuring "but you can't get out yet!"

"and do I look like I care?" that's it, I'm out of here, my skin was being gently caressed by the cold wind of the incoming autumn, what more could I ask for? it's perfect "it's just a few months before it'll end" I told myself as I walked by the nearest street which ends to a café, I think I've been there before, it's not a popular one, just a random place when you need it.

"what would you like young man?" the woman asked me while I'm looking through the board behind her, but I didn't really know what I wanted so I just told her about wanting an iced americano "fine, just wait a small five minute and it'll be ready" she said, a sweet smile on her lips, she seems nice to me, but I hate people, having friends and everything, it's just trouble in my opinion "thanks"

when I passed by the large window I noticed how dark my eye bags has gotten, it's horrific it's like I was looking at a dead person, but it's realistic since I haven't slept well for weeks, maybe two hours per day. I shouldn't give all my attention to the state of my body, rather to the present moment and to graduate, that's what my mom wanted after all, a diplomatic child and well educated.

"excuse me young boy, but I think your drink is ready" someone told me, so I looked up to the counter and it was true, so I rushed to it and paid how it cost me, now I could finally breathe in peace, just me and my drink at a table close to the window, Seoul's looking pretty estival these days, I'm wondering why, uh right Halloween, it's for soon but I forgot about it.

"Now I miss being in bed." I mumbled soon as I took a sip of my drink, feeling the coldness from outside just by the glass next to me, I hate autumn.

"who's- oh, riki" he opened the door on me while looking at me confused, bet he was sleeping before I came over, yeonjun hyung is always like this, sleeping all day long, if you're wondering he's my cousin, and the one who always been there for me when I'm at my worst "disappointed?" I laughed at my own words but he didn't, he seemed grumpy for some reasons, can't he take a joke after all?