Don't leave me

Wee-oo wee-oo

Jasper didn't want to hang up. He didn't want the police to come into his house. He didn't want them to take the gun out of his hand. He didn't want to live.

But he didn't want to die.

He cried numbly as the police escorted him out of the building, ushering him into the back of the police car, taking him somewhere he probably didn't want to go.

He stared out the window, counting every tree that passed.

--

He was quiet as the nurse checked him for any active cuts. There were some, mostly on his arms, but none deep enough to take him to the ER. The nurse simply bandaged them up, checking him for anything else he could hurt himself with. Finding nothing, he left the numb man there so he could talk to the police officer.

Jasper curled into himself, staring listlessly at the floor.

He knew where he was going. He knew what would happen. He'd be sent to a mental facility, improve for a little, then fall back down his stupid rabbit hole of depression.

He had done the same thing nine years ago.

At some point (he didn't know when), the officer came back into the room. "Mr. Revenant?" She said lightly.

Jasper didn't look up, answering with a simple, "mm."

"We're going to take you to Campbell's behavioral facility for adults, okay? From there you will be monitored so you're safe."

Another noise of agreement from Jasper.

She helped him out of the chair, taking him to the police car once more. She then started it and got on the road, marking the beginning of the two hour drive to Campbell's Behavioral facility.

--

Jasper didn't really dream. He never really had. Whenever he did, they tended to be nightmares. He guessed it was good, as the terror tended to break his cycle of numbness and depression.

It was the same nightmare every time. He was being held at gunpoint, but he wasn't sure who was holding him. Cuts opened on his arms, painful and slow. He could feel every tear in his skin open all at once. He felt the agonizing ripping of his muscles, all the way down to the bone. He cried and screamed, at first begging for it to stop, then begging for death as the muscle slid painfully off of the bone.

There was a loud noise as the gun shot into his skull. He fell forward into another dream.

The next dream also repeated, but it had more variants. In the dream, Jasper was fifteen once more. People surrounded him, but they were all blurry, like he was seeing them without his glasses. He tried to walk up to one, but it just moved farther and farther away.

"Jasper?" Someone called. It was familiar to him, clearly female with a faint lisp, gentle, yet sarcastic. He swore he recognized it from outside his dreams but he couldn't place from where.

Jasper whirled around to where the sound was coming from, but there wasn't anyone there. Just more blurred people.

"Jasper!" Another voice, male this time called from the other side. It was a light, squeaky voice, and even though Jasper wasn't sure how, he knew it held too much sadness.

Jasper covered his ears, curling up into a ball. "Who the hell are you?!" He shouted through the tears, suffocating on his sobs.

"Jasper," said the female.

"Jasper," Said the male.

"Jasper.."

Jasper...

--

"Jasper?"

He woke with a start. His door was open, the officer standing outside, holding it.

Wait, the officer? ... Oh right the officer.

Memories of what had happened came back to him through his post-nightmare haze. He quickly unbuckled and stepped out, glaring at the sun shining bright overhead.

"You good there?" The officer asked.

He shrugged. "Fine enough."

They walked together into the building, stopping at the front desk to get checked in and then handed over.

The hospital was worse than prison, but Jasper was too tired to be upset.

He was lead into an adjourning building, sitting down while the officer talked with the receptionist. He sat with the officer for a while, before he was led into the building.

—

He was numb as he was led into the building. He was numb as he sat through group. He was numb through dinner. He was numb as he was forced to try to sleep.

He didn't dream that night.