The Last Goodbye

Original Me

I'm so sick of me, wake up and hate to breathe
And I pride myself in that, so dramatic, I'll admit
I'm so typical, my life ain't difficult
But I'm so caught up in it, just a lowlife, I'll admit

Jason knew something was up with Dick. He just didn't know what. It started when he "died" or maybe it was earlier. Maybe it was when Demon Spawn died. No, it was before then, it started when he and Barbra suddenly broke up for the last time.

Fuck. This has been going on for longer than he realized.

When Babs and Dickface broke up he started retreated into himself and wasn't as physical as he used to be. Before he was always hanging off him, Tim, and Damian. Touch was constant, warm, and freely offered like no one he ever knew, then and now. After the break up it was distant- not cold, but not nearly as warm and free as it once was.

Then his kid died in his arms. Jason doesn't give a fuck what Bruce or biology has to say about it. Damian al Ghoul-Wayne is in name only, he is and will always be Damian Grayson in soul. Jason knows death messes your head up, probably better than most, but he has no idea what it was like to lose a whole piece of yourself through your fingers and still be conscious of the absence.

Then he faked his death which is just so... out of character. Jason knows Damian's death shattered Dick. He heard from the low-lives of Gotham all about the blue-themed hero of Blüdhaven that was trying to get himself killed the hard way. And he should have check-in, truly he meant to, but then Outsider business kicked up in full gear and he put Dick on the back-burner. He should have been fine. Dick Grayson has always been fine- that is just who he is. But Jason was wrong. Dick wasn't fine. He was falling and in Grayson tradition, no one noticed till their bodies went splat.

Then he came back and he wasn't dead.

And Jason-

Jason could have handled it better. Relief, joy, comfort is what he should have focused on. But he didn't, he got stuck on months of sadness and loneliness which made him pissed. He believed that him and Tim were the only ones left standing. The last of the Robin "bloodline." And Dick fucking knew better. He knew what it was like when Damian died and he pretended to put that on him and Tim too. Which is, cruel.

It's been two weeks since Dick dragged himself to the manner and did the most peculiar thing. He was late, he shrunk into himself, he barely ate anything, and he left early. Maybe it was time for Jason to drive down to Blud and pay a visit to his big brother.

The drive is technically 45 minutes but Jason and his bike make it in 25. Speed limits are just suggestions anyway and his bike is really fast. While driving Jason thinks back to his childhood when Dick was teaching him how to ride. Tim is a slowpoke and uptight anytime the boys go for a ride, but Dick has a need for speed, which Jason might have inherited. When Jason thinks about it, he can kinda get why Dick likes it. In one way, flying down the road on a motorcycle is kind of like flying down the edge of a skyscraper- fast, dangerous, free.

Jason never understands why Goldie chooses to live in this shit shack. His building is the definition of slum. The exterior buzzer lock is always busted and the elevator is perpetually out of service. The stairs smell like urine, the walls have cracks, someone is almost always fighting very loudly and publicly with their intimate partner. All in all, it's disgusting.

And Goldie has access to daddy's money, so he could move out whenever he wants. But no, Dick chose this cockroach-infested rotting health code violation to call home.

Beginning his trek up the stairs Jason suddenly felt pissed. Someone urinated in the staircase and reeked. First Dick starts acting sketchy, then he leaves Jason a cryptic note with the keys to his beloved bike, and now he has to go see what shenanigans his dumb-ass older brother got himself into this time.