It's okay (Natasha Romanoff x female reader)

12. Chapter

The next three days I have to stay in bed. Natasha doesn't leave my side. She reads to me, brings me food and watches over my sleep. It doesn't matter, how many times I tell her that it wasn't her fault, she stays in my room.

When I finally wake up on the fourth morning, Natasha is still sleeping beside me. She didn't have a nightmare this time.
Her hands are wrapped around my arm. I do not want to wake her up, so I lie still.

A loose strand of Natasha's hair moves every time she breaths out. I softly tuck the strand behind her ear.
I would like to kiss her right now-...but I can't. She doesn't like me like that.

So instead I place a little kiss on her hand.
Natasha's eyes open and she looks me straight in the eyes.

„Have you been watching me?" Natasha asks with her morning voice.
How does she sound SO hot?

I feel myself blushing and just decide to not deny it.
„Yes, I have." I simply say and smile. I quickly glance at her lips.
Natasha bites her bottom lip and inches a little bit closer.

My breathing becomes heavier, as I can feel her body pressed against my side.
I look away, in an attempt to stop my heart from racing.

„Y/n." Natasha whispers
I turn my head towards Nat again. I can feel her breath tickling on my cheeks.
Natasha's head is coming closer and closer. I close my eyes, ready for our lips to collide.

The door suddenly opens. „Y/n. You don't have to stay in-." Tony, who has just walked in, sees Nat and me. „OH MY GOD. I KNEW IT!" He just stands there smiling and looks between the two of us, until he realises that just interrupted us. „OH SHIT. I am so sorry. I-uhm. Breakfast is ready, but - well - continue with what you two were doing." Tony walks out and closes the door again.

Nat and I smile at each other awkwardly.
„Do you want to..." Natasha starts.
„...continue?" I finish her sentence and lick over my bottom lip.
Natasha nods smirking and leans in again.

But the door opens again. This time Wanda and Clint walk in. Are they serious?
„Are you okay? I heard Tony shou-" Wanda's gaze falls on Nat and me. „Clint, we shouldn't be here." Wanda says, trying so hard to keep herself from smiling. „We definitely shouldn't be here." Clint replies, but he doesn't move and is grinning from ear to ear.

Wanda is already backing away, but Clint still hasn't moved a bit.
„Clint!" Natasha shouts, sounding annoyed. „Out!"
„Sorry." Clint murmurs and walks out of my room, without closing the door
„Door!" Natasha shouts again.

The door closes and Nat and I are finally alone again.
The mood we were in before, is definitely gone now. I look at her and she looks at me and we break out in awkward laughter.
„Breakfast?" Natasha asks when we have stopped laughing.
„Yeah." I nod and Natasha goes to her room to get dressed. I change into a long-sleeved shirt, a hoodie and sweatpants.

Nat and I meet again in the hallway and we walk down to the kitchen together.
Tony, Wanda and Clint are already sitting around the table, eating their breakfast.
Natasha and I get some of the scrambled eggs from a pan and sit down too.
We're all eating in silence until Tony clears his throat. „Are you two a couple now?"

I don't know what to say and Nat also doesn't reply.
„Oh, I think I get it." Wanda says. „This would've been your first kiss, but we walked in on you."
I nod, still angry at both of them.
Tony puts his hand in front of his eyes. „I hate myself right now. I'm sorry, girls." He murmurs.

„Can we just change the topic, please?" Natasha says, definitely annoyed.
„Okay... So, the others are on a mission. Hydra has developed a poison to make a person see their phobias. We sent the others to destroy the poison. But Fury wants to try it out, in case they can't destroy the poison."
„How do you want to do that?" Wanda asks curiously.
„With you, Wanda. You can put the image of a phobia in one of our heads and then we can see how somebody would react." Tony explains.
„This is cruel." Nat says.
„I partly agree. But these are Fury's orders and we should be prepared if Hydra uses the poison on us. So, who wants to try it?" Tony asks. „Natasha, would you maybe-„ He starts but I interrupt him.
„You can do it on me." I quickly say.
Why did I just say that? I don't want to to this. Well, better me than Nat.

„Bruce said no training for a week." Nat says.
„This is not physical training, so it's no problem." I retort.
„I don't want you to feel that. I can do it." Nat says and puts a hand on my shoulder.
„I don't want you to feel that either and I said that I want to do it first, so I'm gonna do it."
„Tony, tell her I should do it." Nat says angrily.

We both look at Tony.
„Well, Nat, she volunteered first."
„Fuck you, Stark." Nat says, but she knows that I won.

We all go to the living room and Wanda and I sit facing each other on the couch.
„Tell me a fear of you." Wanda says softly.
„Uhm... I don't know. Can't you find out yourself?" I ask nervously.
„I can, but I thought it's easier if I let you choose."
I shake my head. „Just do it."
„Okay. Are you ready?" Wanda asks and holds out her hands.
I nod and close my eyes.

When I open my eyes again, I'm on top of a cliff. I see Natasha running towards the edge of the cliff.

„NATASHA! NOO!" I shout and start running after her.
Natasha jumps and I let myself fall on the stone just centimetres before the precipice. I manage to grab her hand, before she falls further.
„Y/n, help me!" Natasha cries and tries to climb up my arm. But suddenly I'm sliding closer to the edge. I put my foot behind a rock, to stop myself from moving forward. „I got you, Natasha. I got you." I whisper, trying to pull her up. But my arm gets weaker every second.
„Y/n..." She says. „Let me go. It's okay."

„No, I'm not gonna let you die." I say, but I suddenly feel my hand open. My fingers start to loosen around Nat's wrist and I can't do anything against it.
„It's okay." Natasha whispers again and a second later, she's falling.

„NOO." I cry. „NOO!" I pull myself back on the cliff and start panicking. „NO!" I can't breath. Natasha is gone. I try gasp for air, but I can't. I can't feel my hands anymore. My feet go numb. My heart is pounding and I can hear the blood rushing in my ears. My chest tightens and I grab my throat. Natasha is dead. „No."

Natasha's POV
I don't want Y/n to do this. I hate Tony. I should do it.

Wanda starts to use her powers and I'm anxiously chewing on my lip.
Suddenly, Y/n shouts, „NATASHA, NO!"
What's going on?!

Tears are streaming down her face and she starts to shake. Suddenly Y/n clutches her throat as if she couldn't breathe.
When Wanda realises what's going on, she immediately stops. But Y/n doesn't seem to notice. She's still crying, her arms are wrapped around her legs and she's rocking back and forth. She's breathing very shallow and fast.

She's having a panic attack.
I sit down beside her and use my hand to make her look at me. It is as if she can't see me.
„Y/n, I'm here. It's okay." I say loudly.
Suddenly her gaze meets mine. „Y/n, can you hear me?"
Y/n doesn't anwer and still looks like she can't breath.
I pull her into a soft hug and can feel her relax a little, but she's still shaking like crazy.
Without a lot of thinking, I press my lips onto hers. She immediately stops shaking. I pull away. Y/n looks at me shocked and when our eyes meet again, she blushes a little. It is hardly visible, but I notice it anyways.

Back to Y/n's POV
Did she just kiss me?
„I'm sorry, but I heard once that kissing can stop a panic attack if it's someone you like. I didn't know what else to do." Natasha.
„It's okay." I hug her tightly.
„Are you okay?" Natasha whispers in my ear.
I nod. „Yes, now I'm okay."
Nat pushes my back on the couch. She wipes the tears of my face. I didn't even realise I cried.

„I just got a call from Bruce. They destroyed the poison. We won't continue with this training. It's too cruel as we just saw." Tony says. He is sitting on another couch next to Clint and is watching me closely. „Are you okay, Y/n?"
By now, I feel pretty embarrassed. „Yeah, I'm sorry." 
„Don't you dare say sorry, Y/n." Wanda says from behind me.
I turn to look at her. She has tears in her eyes.

I go to her and give her a hug. „Are you okay, Wands."
„I am fine, Y/n. But are you okay?" She asks me with worried eyes.
„What I saw was fake, so I'm okay. Don't worry." I give her a reassuring smile.

Suddenly Tony's phone rings again and he leaves the room to answer the phone call.
I shoot a worried look at Wanda but she just shrugs.
„Wanda and Clint, we are needed for another mission. The others will join us there. Natasha, is it okay if you stay here with Y/n?" Tony says when he walks back in.
„Sure." Natasha says.
Wanda, Clint and Tony quickly pack their things and leave for the mission, leaving me and Natasha alone in the tower.