The Library

chapter 3

Andrew walked into the library with his hands snaked around a beautiful girl’s waist.

Her hair was a lovely whisky, the color of fallen leaves browned and sleek with the first rain of autumn. Her eyes were intense, and unlike the rest of her they weren't at all expressive, they were cold, like ice.

Most blue eyes are so captivating you swear that you could just dive into them with the peak of awe nipping at your facial features, but when you peered into her frozen irises you feel an electrical chill run down your spine, through your body making your features numb, like ice. Every tendril of various shades of incandescent striking white-blue staying lined up next to one and other making her eyes themselves seem like a white tundra, its as if a blizzard is eternally raging on with a black void in the center that are her pupils. They don't capture light, but defy it, they're so, so blue that they literally glow.

She was beautiful in her own ways. Andrew walked up to Zac and me and introduced her to be his beloved girlfriend, Lana and then looked at her lovingly and smiled at her like she was the best thing that ever happened to him. Not a pang of jealousy was felt by my heart…only pain.

It is truly amazing how every time someone feels emotional pain, it doesn't hurt as a cut or a bruise would. It's just this heavy feeling. Your head spins and it's as if your tongue feels too big for your mouth. You feel the need to wipe away non-existent tears that you want to form but they wont.

And It is truly amazing how every time you feel that pain the only explanation you can sum up, is how you caused that pain on yourself. All that does, though, is bring on even more pain.

Every ounce of you wishes you had the nerve to swing your body off the top of a building. To walk deep into the depths of the ocean and stay down under. To take a gun and place the cool metal down your throat, pulling the trigger, shooting away the pain.

That’s how I’m feeling. Who knew falling in love with that mysterious stranger with catastrophic eyes would cause so much of pain.

Andrew and Lana disappeared into the shelves. The sound of their laughter echoed the walls of the library. They soon left after issuing their books. He had just taken a step outside the library when I burst  into tears as I could no longer hold them back.

 My tears were not a trickle and it never started in my eyes. It began as a feeling in my chest and sadness in my brain. The leaking water was only a blessed release, its one way my body chose to cope.

Zac kneeled down next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. “It’s okay jess, he isn’t meant for you. Plus I can say he is an extremely boring person…. I mean c’mon which guy brings a girl to a library on a date” said Zac in an attempt to make me laugh but they were all in vain.

It was completely my fault…this is what happens when you fall in love with a person without knowing him! But love is blind isn’t it? It just happened without any warning. His eyes, his aura, his smile… all spoke to me in a language I could decipher perfectly.

But little did I know that the love in those catastrophic eyes, place in his heart and the right to be wrapped in his arms belonged to someone else.

I’m living in that moment of life when you start understanding the meaning of the lyrics of the song. Quotes in the book start touching your soul deeply and every heart break feels relatable. But this is normal right? We do not have a story between us… so it should be easy for me to get over him. That’s what I thought but little did I know that I was completely wrong. Every time I looked at him I fell harder. I started loving him more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.

It’s been several weeks and his visit to the library has remained constant. Lana would always accompany him. At first it really hurt to see them so exultant together, staling kisses every now and then but now my heart is used to the pain. But seeing him blissful always brings a smile to my face but somewhere deep inside my heart I wished to be in Lana’s place.

If only I could tell Andrew what I felt for him. When I met you I'd already lost my entire world. How can you hang on to something so incomprehensible? How can you keep pouring love into an abyss? But then there you were. There was something in those catastrophic eyes that was so beautiful, so safe and warm. In just one look I was "home." I am as much in love with you today as I ever was, perhaps even more so.

 author's note

"i wish it was you with your arms around my waist while we danced in the moonlight

i wish it was you that was calling around cause you wanna say goodnight"

i dedicate this chapter to every girl who had their heart broken. no matter what i love you okay? okay.

it was short i know! forgive me please. i'll update soon.

vote comment and dance salsa with me... no? okay.

xx

p.s: follow me on twitter @1d_af90