Addicted to your Faults

Everyone has Secrets

What just happened? I sat down with my back to the door staring at nothing with millions of questions roaming my mind. Never in my life had I ever expected that event that happened with Jace. His words, dirty to be exact had a huge impact on me. The way the words were formed my his lips, rolled of his tongue, then out with his voice... Jesus, I'm going mental. The worst part is that I'm enjoying this more than I should have when he made my boyfriend think I'm having an affair with him. This isn't right. I can't keep on dancing to Jace's tune.I can't keep on letting him be in control of me. What exactly does he want from me? What is he hiding?

I decided that I should keep my mind of Jace and have something else to kill time before I go with Vicky for lunch. Calling Ben wasn't the smartest of ideas so I called Adien.

*Hello?*

* Um hey Aiden. Its me Mary.*

* Oh Hey Mary. Sorry I just woke up.*

* Oh. Didn't mean to wake you.*

* No no, its fine. So what's up?*

* Uh I was wondering if you would like to hang out. You don't have to if you don't want.*

* Sure. I'll love to. I was quite bored that I slept. How about we meet at the mall, maybe the food court?*

* Perfect. OK I'll meet you there in about an hour?*

* That's fine .See you then. Bye*

With that he hang up the phone. Well I have plenty of time. I look at the clock by my bed. 10:30. Wow... Time seemed to have moved faster than usual. I took a towel and my bag with my shampoo, body wash, scrub and headed to the showers. Well looks like its not my lucky day because a couple were moaning in a shower, which I'm pretty sure were having sex. Great, just marvelous. This is so déjà vu... I rolled my eyes. I turned the shower on letting it heat first. I stripped down to nothing and let the heat of the water run down my hair to my toes. It felt amazing, relaxing. I washed my hair with my cranberry scented shampoo and chocolate vanilla body wash. Mmmh. Delightful. I took my time but eventually got out and headed to my room. I was greated with darkness as I opened the door. I switched the light on and went to my closet to get dressed. I decided on wearing plain jeans, white tank top and black flats. Since my hair was still wet, I put in a messy bun not in the mood of styling it. Checking the time confirming that I was still on time. I grabbed my bag, phone and keys and headed out the door.

The mall isn't far from the campus, so I opted walking be a sensible decision. I couldn't help but worry about Ben. I've been avoiding and ignoring the 30 missed calls and texts from him. What could I say? Oh Ben I'm sorry you heard me moaning as Jace was giving extreme pleasure that I can't imagine you giving me, but hey I'm not complaining.This was hard to say something yet hard not to say something. I didn't want to hurt Ben or cheat on him. That's not my intentions. I love Ben, I really do, but not the same way a year ago. Everything changed, I changed, he changed. I'm blinded by my emotions that's its confusing me to make the right decision. I feel like everything is at stake while its really not. I'm too anxious for my own good when I shouldn't be. He deserves every right to know what's happening behind his back, but I'm not willing to give him the answers he seeks.