The Love of a Daughter

Forgiven

Beyoncé POV

Ouuu I fucked up, bad. Onika wasn't supposed to meet her, like at all. Sanaa was supposed to be gone before the day was over. I already talked to her about breaking up but she just had to say she was my girlfriend. She knew what she was doing.

It's been 2 weeks since the whole thing, and Onika has yet to speak to me. Aunt Carol won't let me come see her. She's pissed at me too. I totally understand, but this isn't 100% my fault. I tried.

I caused a lot of stress to Onika. She passed out in Jays living room and they rushed her home. This has happened times before so they didn't bother the hospital. I just hope she's okay. I miss her.

Trying to call her would result to her voicemail, right away. The last time she answered, aunt Carol took the phone because Onika started to cry. I feel so freaking bad. I never wanted to hurt her.

Out of all people, I hope Robert doesn't hear about this, or Baby and 21. They'll kill me. Several times they've told me, well promised me that if I caused her any pain, my pain would be endless. I'm scared as hell honestly, and I ain't never scared.

Jay hasn't been too easy on me either. Every second he gets, he tells me how bad I fucked up. He's been over there and every time he comes back he tells me how Onika was pissed at him. But he talked to her and she forgave him. I'm just scared because i'm the lead of it all. It won't be as easy for me as it was for him.

I want to try and go over there today. Hopefully I come back alive. Carol might be the one to kill me. That's if they haven't told Baby and 21. They some chill guys, and them be ones not to mess with.

I was on my way there in silence. I'm so scared I don't even want music right now. I need to think about how i'm gonna approach this situation.

When I pulled up Onika was at the mailbox. Thankfully she was alone. She noticed my car before I even stopped and walk up to it. Surprising me, she got in the passenger seat.

"Drive." she plainly said. Umm. I wasn't expecting it to be this easy. I didn't even have to say nothing.

"Ok. Are you gonna listen to me? I don't want to just ride around in silence." she just stared at me waiting for me to drive off.

I took the hint and started to drive. Ion need her changing her mind and running to aunt Carol. She would beat my ass.

"So, explain while I have the courage to listen to you." she finally spoke while looking out the window.

"Ok. So, Sanaa was my girlfriend back in Cali. I didn't really like her, I just had to get close to her for a move Jay and the guys had to make. She ended up falling for me which made it harder for me to just leave her. When we moved down here I forgot all about her because like I said it was a set up move. I blocked her and things like that when I started liking you I swear I did. I'm guessing she got in touch with Jay and he reminded me about her. He told me she had flew out here and I needed to end things with her." i explain. Hopefully she listening. She just sat there staring blankly.

"Mhmm. I hear you. But what does that have to do with me walking in on her coming out your bathroom in a towel? Then introducing herself as your girlfriend." she asked. Still looking out this window.

"She had just got out here and wanted to shower. I don't know why she introduced herself as that. But after you left I talked to her and got on her ass because she was being petty. She's on her way back to Cali as we speak." It was all true. I made her leave right after I talked to her.

Sanaa was the type of girl to be petty to the new girlfriend. The type to pop up at jobs and tell lies. I would kill her if she messed with Nicki like that, and she now knows that.

Nicki is my baby, I wouldn't put her in a situation like that. With anybody. She doesn't deserve it. Plus, her people crazy, i'm not trynna die yet.

She was silent for a while so I just sat there driving. I didn't want to say something and make her mad.

"You know my momma's made at you right?" she finally spoke while chuckling.

"Yea I know, but are you still mad at me?" i asked, cause that's all that matters right now. After she's not mad i'll worry about everybody else.

"I was never mad. I was more disappointed in myself than mad at you." she played with her fingers.

"Why were you disappointed in yourself? Was it because of the anxiety?" i asked. I feel really bad about that. She's been trying to do better and I wasn't helping.

"No. We all knew I wasn't doing good before. But I wasn't supposed to fall for nobody. I was still with Ken when we met, meaning I was IN LOVE still. I mean i'll always have love for him because of our history, but I didn't want to jump right back into something. But that's my fault. I should've kept my guard up. I'm just so naive to things and I don't notice until AFTER i'm hurt." she vented. I'm sure she needed to let things out so I just listened.

"I just wish I wasn't babied damn near my whole life. Maybe I wouldn't be so dense. Maybe I wouldn't be so damaged and going though dumb stuff like depression and anxiety." she said. I never knew she felt that way. I mean she is a little naive and maybe a little dense but I never thought she would notice.

"Onika. I'm so sorry. I never meant for that to happen. Honestly. All I want to see is you happy. Whatever you go through, I'm gonna be there to help you through it. Together or not. You're like the best friend I never had. And if you don't want to be in a relationship right now I totally understand. I just ask that you be my best friend until you are ready. If you still need time to think about it i'll keep my distance." i expressed. I really want to make things work with her. If staying away is what she wants for a while. I'll do just that.

"No. It's fine. The situation isn't even as big as it's being made. I'm sensitive and the way I reacted was so extra." she said lowly. She's downgrading herself.

"Uhn uhn. Your feelings matter. However you felt about the situation, is your right. I had you feeling like I was all yours when I had another person thinking the same. You don't deserve that. And I'm really sorry. Like I feel like shit." i apologized. I really need her to understand that.

"I forgive you Beyoncé. Just stop apologizing please. I been forgave you, I just hadn't seen you." she said.

Why didn't she call me?

"Thank you."

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