i had these dreams for a while
after that night.
you said my eyes were pretty
while we laid in bed
just staring
sharing
secrets
under my
softest blanket.
you whisper
an insecurity
and i tell you
that i have
three
toothbrushes
and somehow
slowly
we're
kissing.
we pause
to keep
looking
at each
other's
eyes.
"you're so beautiful"
i'm not
used to
feeling so
special -
we're naked
but suddenly
i'm so very shy.
you leave in the
morning and i
drift away to
you in my
mind.
the next night
i dreamed we
were holding
each other. your
form eventually
begun to twist
and turn beside
me. you morphed
into trauma and
shadows, black
shades running
up my arms
and i can't
breathe
icantbreathe
icantbreathe
i
can't
breathe.
when i wake up
my chest hurts
i curse my brain
and i miss
you.
it went on like that
for a few weeks.
looking back,
i guess this is
healing.
-----
a/n: realized i never posted some poems i wrote in 2020 so i'm just going to add them to this collection. an alternate title for this is "in which jude continues to see men as self-harm" (haha i'm sorry lmao).
YOU ARE READING
soft light
Poetryi just want to feel okay again. poems written circa 2017-2020. what a wacky time to exist. if a lot of these seem unhinged it's probably because most of them were written while i was in a very abusive relationship. tw for occasional themes of addict...
