soft light

i was going to paint but this happened instead

since the meds kicked in,
i lack less, i think.
i've found an appreciation
dug up in the front yard
by a half blind dog
an appreciation
for the living

and the
quiet
small moments.
before, i cared, but
those eras were
intermittent
seconds
cut scenes
  caught between
the intensity i've since
given away.

but
moments
of being
in love
with
wheat
grass bet
ween
high
ways
and
last bit
of clouds
eating sun
in the rearview:

or sweet talking
your eyes at midnight
to hear your voice
smiling in
the smoke
separating our
houses:

cats in the
woods behind
my car, yowling
at the full
moon,
the silence
and warmth
of sleep.

i exist alongside
unfamiliar calm
a small breath
but a longer pause -
no more perfect
than dollar store
cellophane

but the world
is almost
softer
and my
skin is
held to
gether
with
some
thing
more
than
glue.

(the formatting in this is so messed up but i can't seem to fix it on wattpad, i'll post a link to my hellopoetry in the comments!!)