Now that you have your cake, you're probably wondering how to eat it properly. Well one can only guess that you have to interact your hands some way to eat cake properly. WRONG!! The most proper way is not with your hands. Simply tie your hands behind your back (if you need help, ask someone to do it for you) and face plant into the cake. Preferably get it on video tape. You also might want to close your eyes so you don't get cake in them. Open and close your mouth to try to eat the cake as fast as you can. (Hopefully you don't suffocate). After that you are probably thirsty. It's a good idea to chug a bottle of soda or any liquid you can find. Now you know the proper way to eat cake!!
