Destiel One Shots

I'll cut my hair

[This is a trans Dean au! (Ftm) Cas helps him transition.]

Dean looked at himself in the full length mirror. He felt sick to his stomach. The dysphoria was getting worse. He wore his binder and a pair of grey sweatpants. The Winchester couldn't medically transition yet. He wasn't financially stable. Nobody really knew he was trans either. Even though he dressed differently, he tried his best to appear feminine. He didn't want people finding out he was actually trans. He hated the thought of getting backlashed and discriminated against. What would his brother think? What would his friends think? What would other hunters think of him?

The young man messed up his long hair and groaned. He couldn't pass. He turned his head away from the mirror to face the motel beds. The same old patterned walls glared at him. He felt the room closing in on him. Tears welded up in his eyes. It was painful to see himself in a body that didn't belong to him.

It wasn't his.

The door to the front of the motel room opened. Sam stepped into view. He held two bags filled with groceries. "I got some things we might need for our next hunt sis." The younger brother smiled as he sat them down on the small table towards the front of the room. He had gotten food and snacks for their long drive.

Sam noticed the tears in Dean's eyes and approached him, "hey hey, what's wrong?" He was pretty concerned for his brother. There was something up with him recently, even Sam could tell. He fell into worry.

'She hasn't been herself lately. I really wish there was something I could do to pry it out of her,' Sam thought. He folded his hands into his lap. He sat down on a poor wooden chair and laid his arm against it.

"Nothing," Dean mumbled quietly. He wiped his tears away and covered his eyes. He could feel Sam's glare from across the room. "It's nothing Sam!" He shouted back. The younger Winchester tilted his head to the side, "it sure looks like something is wrong. Talk to me. I'm all ears Deana." Sam kept reassuring his brother.

Dean's heart dropped. The name he dreaded to hear. He wanted to cover his ears and run. All he ever wanted was to be accepted, but there was a risk to coming out. Would Sam love him the same? Would things change?

The hunter scratched the back of his head and walked over to one of the motel beds. He didn't respond to Sam. There was clear tension in the room for some time.

"Sam, Deana. I need your help," Cas had used his angel abilities to transport himself into the little motel room. Sam flinched a bit but he had grown accustomed to it.

"What the hell man?" Dean shouted removing his arm from his eyes. The young man was stilll getting used to Cas appearing out of nowhere. It worked him and he had his hand on his pistol tucked away in his jacket. Cas observed Dean with a confused expression, "is everything okay? You appear to have been crying." The angel was clearly concerned for his friend.

Cas was pretty oblivious to the entire situation. He only came to ask for some assistance from the Winchesters but he was met with other complications. A crying Dean and a very concerned Sam.

"I'll leave you two alone. I think Deana would open up to you more than me right now," the younger Winchester spoke in a gentle tone. He gave Dean an expression of reassurance. He did respect his brother and his privacy but he couldn't help to feel a bit heart broken. Dean rarely opened up. Of course Cas and Dean had a profound bond, so he assumed Dean would be much more comfortable talking to Cas. Sam got up from his position. He opened the front door and closed it behind him.

"Deana? I don't have much time but I do need your full attention. Please, talk to me." The angel approached Dean and cupped his face. "Dear please," he spoke in a gentle voice.

Dean and Cas had been dating for a year. The two had fallen madly in love during the war between Raphael and Cas. Dean hadn't seen much of Cas though since he had been so busy. The two were both doing their own things. The hunter trusted the angel with every ounce of his body. He took a long deep breath. His heart raced a mile a minute. He knew he couldn't hide it for any longer.

Dean had to come out.

"Cas, I'm trans. I'm a guy," the male spoke. He felt tears stream down his face. "I hate my body, I wear a binder and baggy clothes to cover up that I'm biologically a girl. I hate it!" He buried his head into Cas's shoulder. "I know I should've told you before we started dating but I felt like it would change our relationship."

Cas was shocked at first. How could his boyfriend hide such a thing from him? Something that made Dean felt uncomfortable in his own skin?

He hugged Dean tightly, "what's your name?" He asked and rubbed his back. "My name's Dean," the man responded. "Let me help you," Cas replied with one of the sweetest tones. "I won't ever discriminate you. I love you, no matter your gender." The angel tightly held onto his boyfriend. The warmth between the two was comforting. "Remember that, I'll always accept you for who you are." The angel pulled away and straightened Dean.

The couple was silent for a few seconds. Dean needed some quiet time to process everything. Cas really accepted Dean? He had been terrified and surely thought he would be slapped by discrimination, but that wasn't the case. How in love he was.

Cas figured that he would might as well help. The angel tugged his arm into the bathroom. He scrambled back into the main room of the motel. He found a pair of scissors and went back into the bathroom. The angel took a piece of Dean's hair and cut it off. A loud 'snip echoed.'

Dean looked at him with tears in his eyes, "what are you doing?" The hunter was stumbling on his own words in disbelief.

"Cutting your hair," Cas pulled out a long chunk of hair from behind. He held it up for Dean to see. "I suppose this is what you want. To look more masculine, correct honey?" The angel was gentle. It melted Dean's heart. He had gotten so lucky. "Thanks Cas," he replied in an ushered whisper. He wiped away his tears quickly as he held still for Cas.

The angel smiled in the mirror, "you're very welcome Dean. I would do anything to make you happy and comfortable." Cas continued to cut away at Dean's long locks. He concentrated, doing his best to make the hair cut a certain way. He had no idea what he was doing. He assumed that the shorter was the better.

The clock read five o'clock. It had been only three when Dean had been adjusting his binder. Time had really had flew by. Cas stood proudly admiring his work while Dean beamed in excitement. "Wow, this is awesome Cas. Thanks!"

Cas pecked the top of Dean's forehead, "my love, you look handsome." He wrapped an arm around Dean's shoulders. "The next step in my understanding is to get you on testosterone. Then comes top surgery," the angel sliced through the silence.

"Yeah, I wish I could be cis. It isn't easy," Dean replied with a grin expression. "One step at a time." Dean placed a gentle kiss against Cas's lips. He pulled away leaving Cas in a state of happiness.

"How are we going to explain this to Sam?" Dean asked frantically. He knelt down to pick up some portions of his hair. He held up pieces of his hair and began to dispose it. "A change in style? You don't need to come out to him just yet. Do what you please and what makes you comfortable," Cas replied in a tone of comfort.

Dean felt a weight being lifted from his shoulders. He got up from the waste bin and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist. "I love you, how did I get so lucky?"

The angel shrugged wrapping his arms around Dean's neck. He gave a wholesome smile, "perhaps I'm the lucky one. I have the best man alive in my embrace."

The response made Dean's heart flutter. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve Cas, yet, here was the angel, pampering him with love. He felt the hole in his heart patch up. It was healing.

A step at a time.

-The End-

A/n: Heya guys! It's been a bit since I updated! This was a shorter one shot. I heavily relate to this and that's why I chose to write this specific fic. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!!