Well, I'm Here Now (PJO/HoO)

Tears

When Drew returned to her the Aphrodite cabin she heard someone in the bathroom and the sink tap running loudly. The rest of her siblings were asleep, and she was planning on listening to some music before going to bed but she couldn't do that if someone was still up. Most Aphrodite kids listened to music but it was usually pop and they couldn't fall asleep to it or lay awake to it.

Drew slipped off her cute shoes and tiptoed to the bathroom door and looked in. The new girl, Piper, was crying a bit hysterically. Drew wished she could go in and comfort her. She looked like Drew on her own first night: lost and terrifyingly alone.

Piper was rubbing her face, trying to get the makeup off and tearing at her perfect hair. Drew had been "blessed" like that, one of her favorite dresses had been taken away because of it, but she had just tried to ignore it. Now she missed the dress and wished she could wear it again. Her mother had sent her clothes and another pair of headphones (the nicest thing that she had ever done) along to the camp and they had been placed nicely on her bed. On top of her cool retro clothes lay new jeans and stylish camp t-shirts. At least her old clothes weren't gone though.

Drew ran a hand through her curls and as Piper cried in the bathroom she straightened her hair with her fingers and slipped into her pajamas.They were the ones that her mom had given her along with all the other stupid clothes. Camp was a problem because she couldn't just sleep in a t-shirt or warm sweater. She had to keep up the bitchy facade even when she was sleeping.

Drew put a mirror next to Piper's bed (she would probably want to see what she looked like in the morning) just as Piper turned off the tap. Drew slipped into bed and faced the wall of the cabin. She needed music, and she grabbed her earbuds off the bedside and pressed play. She closed her eyes and rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling of the cabin.

She wanted to go on a walk but knew that wasn't an option so she let the song suffice. It wasn't long until she was fading. An hour later she couldn't feel anymore and that was sleep enough. Another hour and she was really asleep.

"Drew, what are you doing?" Drew's mother's harsh voice cut through her attempt to sleep.

"Trying to sleep." Drew said groggily, dreaming wasn't restful.

"It's as if you're trying to get booted as the head counselor! Did you just decide to give up? This is silly Drew, you have gotten so far. I was so proud of you, if you don't stay on top Piper is going to try and seize power. She is able and she can do it." Her mother glared down at her, she guessed that everyone saw a different face and Drew always saw a face that could be her mother's in the mortal world.

"Mom! I'm just tired, I'm trying my best." Drew said, she couldn't fall from her mother's grace. What would happen if she fell from her own mother's grace?

"Well maybe your best isn't good enough! Zeus is keeping us here like prisoners, I can't keep talking to you whenever you step out of line, I have other children." Her mother was glaring.

"I'm sorry." Drew said pitiful sounding even to herself.

"If sorry is what it takes for you to keep trying, then be sorry. Maybe Piper is a better fit for head counselor." Her mother gave her a final look of disapproval and Drew woke up, still tired.

Music was still playing through her earbuds and the dawn was just breaking. She had a few minutes to start charging her music player and stash her earbuds in with her clothes before the first of her siblings began to wake up and she had to pretend to still be asleep. She checked her watch and saw that she had far more time than usual and cleaned up the cabin a bit before jumping back into bed. She didn't want anyone to know that she did her part, but she did want to do her part.

She waited for most of her siblings to wake up and then got up herself.The morning routine was: chose one person and comment on their appearance or make them more uncomfortable than usual. Tell everyone how long it was until breakfast and then leave and go to the bathroom.

She was too tired to think about not doing it. She commented on Piper's nerves about the way she looked, but didn't say anything about seeing her the night before. Then she grabbed her things for showering and slipped her music into her shower bag.

When she was finally able to escape into the bathroom and turn on the loud shower she almost immediately collapsed. Being a horrible human being just because her mother wanted her too was hard work. Too much work.

She got into the shower and played the music quietly.

She felt her tears coming down her face along with the warm water, she loved this song. Damn it, damn it, damn it. She wiped off her old makeup with her hands pressing into her eyes, and suddenly she could barely breathe. She hated when she felt like this, too many emotions hidden just beneath the surface.

After far too long she let herself collapse, it was always better to feel pain than nothing at all. She muttered along with the music as loudly as she knew she could without anyone hearing.

"God I just want to lay down," She slipped down the side of the shower, her hair sticking to her back.

"These colors make my eyes hurt," She closed her eyes to keep out the painful pink of everything that was surrounding her.

"This feeling calls for everything that I am," She couldn't keep singing and yet she did, at least for the rest of the verse, "Not."

Drew could barely breath, her face hurt from rubbing it. She was awful, she had hurt people, she had hurt her own siblings, and for what? Her mother. It all came down to her stupid mom. She wanted someone to be proud of her. She wished someone could be proud of her for something that wasn't this.

She stood up and got out of the shower, leaving it running, and looked in the mirror. The steam had fogged it up so she had to wipe it off a bit and whens she could finally see her face she felt real again. No make up, just the red-rimmed eyes of someone who had been crying and the bags of someone who hadn't been sleeping.

She sang one more line of the song, a few more seconds of indulging herself, "So what do I do with this?"

A/N:

I really like putting music in anything I write, the reason it's all older stuff is so it would actually be something that Drew could be listening to.

The song in this chapter is Stray Italian Greyhound by Vienna Teng. You can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLySk3i4dFI

Sorry that I haven't updated in awhile I've been to busy to edit the chapters and post them. The last chapter is written, it just needs to be edited. :)