The Fallen Soldier (HanjixFem!Reader)

1- What exactly happened

Y/N

After losing everything when Wall Maria fell, I decided to join the 104° training corps and dedicate my life to the only one purpose of slaying all titans, most particularly the armored titan. God he took away everything from me and that was about the only thing I could do. The three years of training went by smoothly, I had become really good friends with everyone there, but Mikasa and Sasha were my two best friends, I couldn't ask for anyone better. Everyone looked up to me there, I was just as strong as Mikasa, but unluckily I never managed to get in the top 10 when we got to our "graduation". Not that it would matter anyway, given the fact that I wanted to join the survey corps.

The day of our graduation got ruined real quick when the colossal Titan appeared once again right in front of us, and my anger was flowing out of my ears. They can't do that again. We fought so hard but at the same time had a lot of losses, but what made up for it was the fact that when we found out that Eren was a Titan, he helped us close the hole in the wall and for the first time, humanity won at its fullest. However, there were still titans inside the district and I kept on fighting, eventually getting pulled in squad Levi to help kill the remaning Titans. When it all finished and I went back up the walls I found myself talking to the most influent people in the corp, such as Commander Erwin, Section Commander Hanji and Captain Levi. Levi complimented me and when Erwin told me I did a good job I saluted. And Section Commander Hanji... she didn't waste no time in asking me to be a part of her squad as soon as I joined the scouting legion.

And so that was.

I joined the Survey Corps as Hanji's assistant and took part of the experiments she made on the titans that were captured in Trost, as well as going to missions outside the walls. She would spend a lot of time telling me how proud she was and how good of a soldier I would become. However... my time in the scouting legion wasn't long... during the expedition to get Eren back from Reiner and Berthold, the worst thing happened to me.

I was sitting in the cart that was pulling me, Mikasa and a wounded Eren. Sasha and Connie riding on their horses right next to the cart and a lot of titans following right behind us. Everyone seemed to have either ran out of gas, or blades or their equipment was just broken, so I had to do it. I got up and pulled out my blades, telling myself a small prayer and getting myself ready.

"Y/N, what are you doing!?" Mikasa suddenly asked me. I knew this moment would come, sooner or later. "I'm sorry Mikasa, but it's the only way for you all to get back home safely. I need to distract those titans and I'm the only one with the equipment that's not broken, and I still have both gas and blades" I closed my eyes, thinking for the last time of my memories with my friends and it relaxed me a bit. "But you'll die..." Sasha said after some minutes of silence.

"Well who knows, I might as well come back once I'm finished with them. Don't underestimate me potato girl" I gave her a chuckle, and she gave me a sad smile in response. I had to try to reassure both her and Mikasa. "But please... don't tell Hanji. You two should't be the one to do so. I care about her and it's pretty clear. I don't know how much she cares about me but.. let Captain Levi tell her". These were my last words before launching myself towards the huge waves of Titans. I started killing all of them, one by one and luckily my plan worked. The titans stopped... perhaps to eat me.

I gave them no chance to do so as I quickly took them out one by one. I did get in their mouth or squeezed by their hands a couple times, but I always managed to get out, though I got hurt in different places. I was soon finished, but More kept coming... I had finished both my blades and my gas. I quickly unhooked my 3DMG before running towards a small village I could see not too far away. I fell multiple times because of my injuries, but I managed to hide inside a house.

I just sat down against the wall waiting for them to leave and eventually they did. When I tried to get up I couldn't even move and I noticed I was in a pool of my own blood... I was dying and there was no one to come rescue me, there was no one who even knew I was alive...

HANJI

When we got back inside the walls I could see there had been a lot of casualties, as well as a lot of wounded soldiers. Being the first one to get inside, I immediately started searching for my student, Who I learned to care about like she was my little sister, only I never made it notice. However, I couldn't see her so I started searching with my eyes inside the crowd, but I couldn't find her.

Eventually I turned back around to go look for Mikasa and her group, only to find them talking to Levi and Erwin with a sad look on their faces. The two higher ups walked towards me

"Hanji." Levi began as he told the cadets to leave. He never calls me by my name unless it's something serious, and by the look of it, it really was serious. He was about to start talking again when Erwin did so before him.

"Your student, Cadet Y/N L/N died. Apparently she sacrificed herself so that we could come back here safely." I stood there wide eyed for a what felt like two hours, trying to process what I was being said before replying. I knew I had to keep my head cool. "What? No that's not possible! I saw her and she was perfectly fine!" Levi shook his head and continued "when we were coming back there were like 20 titans following the groups at the back and they were slowly getting closer. Apparently everyone had their gear broken or without blades of gas, hers was the only one that worked so she went to the titans to get their attention to allow us to come back home." 

She can't have died, she's too smart to have died like that.

"But she could be alive! Levi we need to go look for her" I said, walking closer to him and shaking him by his shoulder, which he quickly pushed me away "she's not worth it Hanji. It's what soldiers do, sacrifice their lives. We can't risk sacrificing more lives only to save one." That left me speechless. She WAS worth it. Nobody could see how hard working she was, she could understand me, which a lot of people weren't able to. Just as I was about to talk again, Levi interrupted me.

"Oi four eyes" he said
"She's dead. Just deal with it"

As they started walking away I stood there for a while more. The plaza had cleared out, dark came upon us and I sat against a fountain sighing at the loss of my student.

She can't have died. I will find her somehow. I will find you, I promise you,  Y/N.