Terrified but Too Timid to Change

Chapter Three

"I did it! I actually did it!," Aurora thought excitedly. Her dream was fully funded and ready to take off. People on the street were giving her funny looks as she danced down the street, ignoring everyone to listen to her headphones. Life was finally starting to give her a good turn. God knows she was due. After that childhood of hers, the rushed wedding into a marriage of obligation, and the accident....at that thought she paused and shook her head. "Don't think of that right now. No reason to bring me down." She still had several miles until she got back to her place and it was better to be in a good mood for a long walk than depressed.

"Fully funded. Wow!", she whispered. The thought struck though at just how much Pete had pledged to contribute. "Forty percent. Even the others were surprised at that. I didn't think he was interested. He sure didn't look like he was even paying attention to me while I presented the proposal." She shrugged the idea off as she entered her neighborhood, as it were. She needed to be alert to her surroundings. This really wasn't the best part of town but it was all she could afford. Keeping her eyes moving, she discreetly pulled the knife out of her pocket. Only once had she forgotten it and that lesson stuck fast.

But apparently the good vibes continued for her as she approached her place unnoticed. As she walked up, Frank looked up. "Ms, Aurora, wasn't expecting you this early in the day! I usually only see you at shift change. Bad day today?" Aurora smiled and replied, "actually a great day. My proposal was accepted and I'm fully funded!" Frank cheered and reached out for a high five. As she reciprocated, his face slightly fell. " I guess this means you are leaving us for greener pastures, huh?" " Not yet, Frank. I intend to use every cent for the business before I use any on me. Not getting rid of me that easy!" Frank's goofy grin returned full force. "I'm going to grab my gym gear real fast and head back out. If I miss shift change, have a good evening Frank." "Yes ma'am," he replied.

She continued to the parking lot and as she reached the car, took out the keys and unlocked it. She cautiously made her way around it and opened the trunk. After grabbing her "gym" bag, she quickly threw her shower supplies and a fresh outfit in, along with her towels and comfortable shoes. Slamming the lid closed, she relocked the car as she hurried back to the entrance. Waving at Frank as she passed, she headed back out in the city.

As she came up to the corner, her stomach rumbles. With an eye roll, she stopped. It would be less noticeable if she ate before she went to the gym. With a shrug, she turned right and headed to the church. As she approached, Father Benedict was outside. "Ah Aurora, it is good to see you again," he called as she stepped past him. "Good day, Father," she replied. She hurried inside and hoped the meal was something that she enjoyed. This soup kitchen was better than most and they were friendly here. She went through the line quickly and sat down at an empty table. It was thankfully still too early for most of the other patrons. After hurriedly eating, she slipped out the side door to avoid talking to the priest again. He was nice but was always trying to get her story out and she just wasn't ready for that.

Aurora got to the gym and swiped her card to enter. This was a big expense but ultimately worth it as the workers kept to themselves and it was usually empty at the times she went. She jogged on the treadmill for twenty minutes and then headed to the locker room. This was honestly why she had the membership, as the showers were kept clean. This was one time where she didn't rush or worry. The hot water felt great and massage the tired muscles. As she washed, she felt the scars. The tears started flowing as they always did. She allowed it as the water hid them. After a good cry, she finished rinsing off and stepped out. "Damn, it's getting busy," she thought as there were several other ladies in the room. Quickly drying off, she got dressed and threw her belongings back in the bag. Slinging over her shoulder, she left to start the walk back to her place.

By the time she got back, Frank was gone. George nodded at her as she walked up. " You in for the evening or going back out again?", he grumped. " I'm in for the evening, George, thanks." He lazily waved and she continued on. She reopened the trunk and returned the bag to its spot and place the laundry in the basket. She closed the trunk and went and sat on the hood, leaning back against the glass. Listening to the sounds of the city going about it nightly routine, she reminisced about her day. She tried to remember her proposal but all she really focused on was how sad Pete had looked when Gabe mentioned the break-up. She didn't know why she was fixating on Pete, he was way out of her league. " He ignored me during my proposal," she muttered. But then he pledged forty percent, that hopeful voice whispered in her head. With yet another of her trademark eye rolls, she slide off the hood. It was getting late and she had a long walk to the lunch meeting tomorrow.

Climbing into the car, she wound up the clock and set her alarm. She checked the solar charger and was pleased it was ready to go. Aurora opened her phone, turned the data back on and typed out a quick text. 'Still clean, sober, and alive. Ily'  After hitting send, she made sure it sent and immediately turned the phone off. She placed it on the charger and climbed into the back seat. After loving touching both urns, she curled up and cried herself to sleep, as she had every night since the accident.