Maybe attachment is different than love.
Because although I don't know love like a friend.
I did know it as an enemy.
I know it tricks you into believing it was something when it wasn't.
And it tricks you into seeing something in someone there never really was.
and it tricks you into believing it was suppose to be painful.
So,
apologies I never really looked for love.
because in my eyes it was a knife readied with steel to stab you in the back.
and in my eyes it was more pain than pleasure.
Apologies I was scared of it.
And I couldn't help it.
Apologies I didn't believe you could ever love me.
Maybe because I refused to think it could exist for us so young.
Or maybe because I was losing the hope for it too exist at all.
And maybe I thought you were going to imbed me in the back with that knife.
So apologies I didn't see your knife for the flowers it was.
Or your pain for the pleasure.
Or your tricks for treats.
And apologize I made you out for the enemy when you were suppose to be savior.
So maybe I was the villain all along.
And maybe I had stabbed myself before anyone had gotten the chance.
And maybe I shouldn't have lost hope on love because it was as much a villain as anything else in life.
And I never truly knew it.
So who was I to say what it is or isn't.
After all.
I needed to apologize to it.
