Another time

The table

“Alright, is that everyone?” you whispered, mostly to yourself, surveying the table as Toby took his seat “Right, well, thanks for- “

“Stop stalling” Rachel interrupted, and you shot her a look.

“You’re not being very supportive. You said you’d be supportive” you whispered back, even though everyone in the room was within a metre or two of you and so could definitely still hear.

“I did, and I am, which is why I’m trying to help, come on” she motioned with her hand, giving you a reassuring nod. You took a breath, and addressed the table.

“Alright, well. I know my turning up here was unexpected, and…odd. I know I’ve still got to prove myself to some of you”

Aaron gave a little huff, dropping his hand from where it was supporting his chin to lay across the table. He flicked a finger against the side of Rachel's hand and she hooked her pinkie over it. You watched the gesture, such a tiny little show of adoration.

“Sweetheart” Alfie murmured, and you lifted your gaze. He gave you a little squint of his eyes and you got the hint to continue.

“Right, yeah” you took a deep breath and steadied yourself “I’ve got things to prove, and things to learn. I’m not going to pretend that I have a right to anything here, and that’s not what this is about. This is about me deciding to give back to the family. Because you guys took me in and welcomed me, and honestly showed me a life I never expected to have”

You gave a breathy laugh, making sure to look around the whole table.

“I’m not getting this out how I want to. I don’t really know what to say, which is funny because before I came here, putting words together was my thing, you know? But, I’m here now. This is another life, and another place, and another time” you shot a look up to Alfie and shared a little look between you “And I’m both the same and another person, now.

I still have that drive that helped me run down information to the last word, and the same spirit that held me through the brick walls and rejections, and the same need to understand everything before me. But I also have a flame in my belly that I never thought I’d feel. I have a set of choices before me that are things I never thought I’d face. I have people I never knew I’d love”

Rachel shot you a wink, turning to Aaron with a proud look. It brought a smile to your face and spurred you on, lifting your head a little higher.

“We’re here together, in this place and time. With these choices before us. I didn’t build this empire. I didn’t form this family. But I want to help protect it. I want to help it grow, and flourish. I don’t understand what brought me here, it doesn’t matter, it’s gone and done. But what’s keeping me here – that’s just starting. I understand it. I want it. I’m going to work for it”

Alfie was running his finger over a knot in the wood, his other arm slung over the back of the chair. Rachel kept her eyes to Aaron, trying to gauge his reaction. Toby was squinting over at you, and was the first to speak.

“I’m going to be honest, when Aaron rang I was at the pub, and I think I’m either missing something or drunker than I thought so- “he waved his hand before him.

Aaron tutted and pulled away from Rachel's hand, so he could stand and pace behind his brother.

“I’m in. The business, the family, this whole thing” you explained, and he opened his eyes wide, followed by his mouth.

“Oh, well! That’s…” Toby squinted again, his expression turning into a grimace “I’m not sure if that’s the best decision, actually”

Alfie sighed, lifting his arm over the back of the chair so he could weave his fingers together on the table top. He rolled his lips through his teeth, shifting his head towards where Aaron was pacing but keeping it down.

“Aaron, sit down before you wear a hole in the tiles, there’s a good lad” he commanded.

“Alfie, this is ridiculous. When you asked me to help her, I thought it was just basic self-defence shit. She’s not a fucking soldier, she’s not a fucking- “

“Well, none of us were until we were” Toby pointed out.

“Thank you, Toby” you replied, and he grimaced up at you again.

“I still don’t know if I’m on your side. Listen, I enjoy you greatly, which is why I’d like to keep you alive. It’s nothing personal”

You rolled your tongue through your mouth, crossing your arms.

“Yeah, no, I understand” you replied, trying to suppress the disappointment in your tone.

“Aaron, sit down” Rachel tried, and he sighed, bracing his hands against the counter as he bent slightly. He looked down at the floor, back hunched, as he thought.

“She appears out of thin air, works in the office for a couple months, and suddenly she’s sat at the table, making decisions? No. That doesn’t happen” he spat, straightening up. He put his hands in his pockets slowly, deliberately, and sighed.

“I’ll start at the bottom, same as everyone else. Learn what I need to learn. I won’t be at the table until it’s right for me to be there. It made sense for me to hang back before we knew if I’d be…going home. But it’s been months now, and this is my home now- “you paused when he scoffed.

“Aaron, come on. She’s kept her head down. She’s offering to help. You were complaining about her not pitching in and now you’re getting pissy about it?” Toby turned in his chair to question his brother.

Aaron’s head snapped around, and he spat something you didn’t understand back at him. You sighed at the same time as Rachel, meeting eyes with her as she pulled the chair out next to her with her foot. You stepped around and slumped into it, waiting for a lull in the argument between them. Instead it intensified, Alfie pitching in to the point when he launched himself out of his chair. It screeched across the tiles and your leg bounced a little faster over your knee, fingers pinching into the skin of your elbow.

“How can I prove myself if he never gives me a chance?” you whispered across to Rachel, who rolled her eyes and shrugged at you.

“You never had to plan a wedding with the guy, honestly that was an endeavour” she snarked back and you laughed.

“What- “

“Now sit down!” Alfie shouted in English, finding his way back to his own chair. He fiddled about for a moment, leaning back and forth, fixing his sleeves, getting adjusted as he tried to slow his breath.

“We done?” Rachel asked, and Toby smirked at her as he found his own chair again.

“I can’t prove myself to you if you don’t trust me, and you won’t trust me until I prove I can be trusted. See how that circle works?” you asked Aaron, who was flexing his jaw.

“I need an in. Give me an in” you pleaded.

He paused, falling still, all but his long breaths calm.

“Go on, set the terms” you said.

He squinted slightly, trying to work out if you were sincere.

“There’s a delivery next week. I need bodies for it. Not necessarily brains” you gave a quick, sarcastic smile and he returned it “low risk, grunt work. The stuff I usually get the teenagers to deal with”

“Well, doesn’t that just sound like the perfect starter job for me?”

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