no strings attached - rafe cameron

chapter seventeen.

SCAR'S POV

It had been a couple days since Rafe caught me with the pogues the night of Midsummers. Not only was I embarrassed that he caught me, since JJ specifically told me to stay away from him, but I was also angry for what he said to me. He used what I told him about my dad against me and I couldn't forgive him for that. I was vulnerable and scared when I opened up to him about what my dad did to me. I thought I could trust him, but that night proved to me just as much that JJ was right. 

And while I felt embarrassed, angry, and hurt, part of me felt bad for leaving him like that. He snuck me into his house, he gave me food, a bed, and a shower. I felt safer in his room than I did in my entire house and I betrayed him. Between Rafe catching me with the pogues and what happened to John B, I figured it was best to stay home and try to stay out of trouble.

That night, John B fell from the top of the hawk's nest where he was meeting Sarah. Sarah told us that while they were up there and she was giving John B the plat maps, her boyfriend Topper showed up. I found out Topper and Rafe were best friends, which made sense as to why Rafe was there. 

Topper was drunk and got mad because he thought Sarah was cheating on him, which he wasn't entirely wrong, and he shoved John B, causing him to break through the rotted wooden railing and fall at least fifty feet to the ground.

John B was rushed to the hospital where he stayed overnight and miraculously, he only broke his arm. Once it was time for us to go home, I knew I couldn't go back to Rafe's, so I unwillingly went back to my house. I had no idea what my dad would do or say if he caught me sneaking back into the house, especially around three o'clock in the morning.

However, when I got home that night, he wasn't up waiting for me. I was relieved to see the front door was locked, all the lights were off, and I was able to sneak back up to my room with ease.

And since that night, I haven't left my room. I've stayed up here, wrapped up in my own thoughts, pacing around my room as I tried to figure out what to do. I could feel myself going crazy from being out of coke, and, as much as I hated to admit it, from not being around Rafe either.

The entire time I've been in my room and wrapped up in my thoughts, he hasn't left my mind once. His voice, his touch, I wanted him so badly. I had to remind myself that Rafe wasn't a good person, and that he almost hit me the night of the kegger, and he used what I told him about my dad against me. Within the last couple weeks there have been times where I was so scared of him and I never wanted to see him again, but there were also times where I felt so safe with him and I never wanted to leave him.

Because of these thoughts I was having about Rafe, I needed to see him. I was practically going insane. Though I was sure our ties were already cut after a couple nights ago, I needed an excuse to go and see him and make it official.

It didn't take much for me to convince myself to sneak out of my house again, especially if it meant to go and see Rafe, so I did. I made my way to his house, feeling more nervous than ever. I found out that John B was staying at Rafe's house while he recovered from the fall, so my excuse for going there was to check up on him.

But when I got there, John B informed me that Rafe was kicked out and staying at someone else's house while they were away.

John B gave me a good idea of where Rafe was staying, since he found that out from Rafe and Sarah's younger sister, Wheezie. I roamed Figure Eight, wondering how I'd ever be able to find him. All of the houses looked the same, big and expensive.

I was about to give up until I noticed a red dirt bike that looked all too familiar in a driveway.

I approached the house, lightly knocking on the door and waited a couple minutes for an answer. I knocked again, this time a little louder, and I still didn't get a response. I reached for the doorknob and noticed it was unlocked, and as wrong of me as it was, I entered the house. He had to be here.