Friends With Benefits (Side Story of Roaming Thoughts of Mei Aihara)

CHAPTER 7

Days became weeks and months, I haven't been myself since I gave that letter to Yuzu. And meeting Angela, I can't say it helped me with my situation too. Engagement talks with Udagawa-san's family are very exhausting and drains me a lot. Sigh...
Haven't seen Yuzu lately, I wonder how she is. More probably as lonely as I am right now. Sigh... I've been sighing more now, and this ring on my neck, is the only thing that keeps me going. I'm missing her so much. I wish I could at least see her or talk with her even for a minute or two. I miss her smile, her embrace, her warmth and being annoyed by her antics. Sigh...

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As I look at the corridor window I saw Yuzu's "group" laughing and having a meeting of sorts. I felt a pinch on my chest, like a needle striking my heart. It pains me to see her laugh around people without me, now. I can't take this anymore.

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Alone in my room, I contemplate again on what my future will be, or should be. Maybe I should speed up my engagement so I can move forward faster. That way I can accept easier that we cannot be together, thats the reality I have to accept. The relationship we had, it won't workout. I have a responsibility to the Aihara family as an heir now, cause father won't be taking his place anymore. This weight on my shoulder, I have to endure it, alone. I need to talk to Udagawa-san about this.

As I was about to call Udagawa-san, I received a message from Angela. Hmmm, asking me if I'm free tomorrow, on a very short notice. I almost forgot about her. What should I do to her? I cannot just turn my back on things I have started and leave them like this. Sigh... how coward I could be. I'm pathetic. Okay, maybe I need to sort this one first before anything else. I have to talk with her. Tomorrow then.

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"Hi, sorry I'm a bit late. Have you ordered?"
"Its fine. No, not yet. Can we have a take out and just talk at your place instead? Sorry to change venue last minute."
"Oh, hmmm, how about we get a room instead? My place is not available at the moment. My parents are there. I just told them I'll be in a "group study" (wink)"

What? Her parents visit her and she bail out to see me. I feel guilty now. Or does she really want to avoid her parents. Well, whatever. Okay, so getting a room. Hmmm, that will be risky. We need to use our IDs and card details.

"Hey, I'm just kidding about getting a room. Breathe, you look pale now. Hahaha... But yeah, we still can't go to my place. Sooo, maybe your place then? What do you think?"
"Sorry, we can't. Very well, let's order and we can discuss later after we eat."
"Great! I'm starving."

During our meal, we talk about school stuff and then...

"You know, Mei, I really like you."

Gasp! My mind went blank. Did I just hear her right? She like me? What should I say? I don't know how to react.

"You don't need to answer me. Its fine. I just want you to know. And its not something deep. Maybe its more of admiration."
"Admiration? Like how?"
"Hmm... like, I admire the way you handle yourself with the kind of pressure you are having from your family now. I know its none of my business. But yeah, I sympathize with you. I can see how you struggle to hide your true feelings for the person you really love. Why did you not choose her?"
"I do love her. I have never loved someone like this before. But I have responsibilities to my family."
"Yuzu Aihara is the person you love right? Isn't she your family too? How about her mom, isn't she your family as well? So, are you choosing to neglect your responsibility to them? Don't get me wrong, I'm not prying into your private life, I'm just following your argument."
"You're right, they are my family too. But, I..."

Tears flow down my face in an instant. I cannot deny the fact that my feelings for Yuzu are too much, to say that she is more than family to me. And yes, my heart is torn apart cause I am choosing a greater responsibility over my own happiness. Is what I want to believe, but in reality, maybe it was just an excuse for my stubbornness and self pride, because I am an heir and an Aihara.

"I think what you need right now is not talking me out of your life, Mei. You need someone to tell you to not give a shit to anybody but yourself. In what I have seen, I think you have done a good job since your childhood to teenage years for your family. And now, you are to become an adult, ask yourself, is this the kind of life I want to live? Being an heir doesn't mean giving up your own happiness. Does your family told you to give up your own happiness for them? Can't you inherit the Academy as an heir and be with your "family", especially with Yuzu?"
"But how can I bear a child if I'm with Yuzu?"
"Oh, so that's your reason for not choosing her?"
"I.. uhh.."

Shit! What did I just say?

"You know, Mei, I'm in no position to give you a sound advise about family and relationships, but what I can tell you is... go find your loophole. You are a smart one, I know you can figure that out."

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Our day ended with the statement she said, resonating in my mind, ".. go find your loophole.." what does she even mean by that. And I wasn't able to tell her what I really wanted to tell her in the first place. And now that I knew that she like me, what am I going to do? Angela liking me changes everything now. Uuugghh, my head hurts. Now things become more complicated. I need to sort things out before it gets out of my control.