Friends With Benefits (Side Story of Roaming Thoughts of Mei Aihara)

CHAPTER 3

Looking at the calendar.. Saturday.. sigh.. do I really want to do this? But she is so tempting, ahem, its so tempting to learn how to do those things with Yuzu. Sigh... who am I trying to fool here.. my longingness to Yuzu went elsewhere, and to Angela? What do I really want from her? I'm conflicted. And with the engagement with Udagawa-san... sigh... nothing is really on its place here.. what am I doing with my life...

I went through my notes that I would be asking or discussing with Angela. She gave me assignments to look into before this meeting so there will be an agenda. So, hmm... did I check it all? BDSM, toys, bondage, etc... yup, I think I got it all covered, is what I want to tell myself, but surely my body is not 100% agreeing to any of this. Am I really ready to learn all of this?...

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"Oh, you're early, Mei, its still 5mins to 1pm. So eager to learn? (grinning)"
"What? No. I mean, I'm always prompt. I don't want anyone to wait for me, at least."
"I see. Hmm.. so there are lots of people today. There hasn't any available table even outside. So what now?"
"Yeah, I really have no other ideas to where we are going to discuss this."
"Hmm.. you want to go to my place? I'm alone today, my parents will come by next week the latest."
"A-are you sure it will be okay? I don't want to invade your privacy."
"Its fine. And relax, Mei, we are not going to do anything you don't want to do."
"Ah, what do you mean by that?"
"Nothing, just telling you so. Now, are you okay with the idea? And well, you can at least be more comfortable if its just the two of us discussing it right? Did you do your homework?"
"Ahm, yes. I did some research and take down notes and some questions for you."
"Okay, great! Well, lets just buy some snacks before we go."
"Sounds good. Lets go."

Why am I being excited and nervous at the same time? Sigh... lets just go with the flow, Mei.. and hope for the best? Well I don't know anymore.. Sigh...

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"First, I wanna know why you want to learn about these. I mean, yes you are eager, you want to do it with your partner. But you, Mei, what is your reason, why do you want to learn these things?"

"I.. (gulp!) I ahm... well, (whew) I want to know my limits. I'm eager to know how far I can give and I can go for somone I love when it comes to these things."

"Is that the real reason, Mei? 'Cause we both know sex is not the only way we can show how far we can give and go for our love. Are you just giving yourself an excuse to experience these things? But yes, I may believe and accept the fact that you want to know your limits when it comes to sex. Does my drawings perhaps trigger something in your core, that leaves a question of either you are a dominant/top or a submissive/bottom? Which one is it Mei? You can tell me anything, I won't judge and I will respect it. We already discuss it earlier."

"Sigh, okay, maybe you are right, I want to experience first hand these things. And yes, maybe something was triggered inside me when I saw your drawings. It somehow excites me to learn these things. I don't know. And well, (blushing) I want to do these things with the person I love. I want to give her pleasure and satisfaction."

"Hmmm.. so its a SHE. The one you love. Okay, no worries, no judgement here. Shall we begin? Which one do you want to experience first hand, Mei?"

That question, ignites something within me. But I won't lie, I want the idea of being tied and blinfolded. But, should it be the first experience? Isn't it a bit hardcore for a first? Oh, fuck, whatever, I'm beginning to be horny and all these discussions gave me a fuzzy feeling of desire.. desire to what? Have sex with her? Sigh... I'm..

"Mei? Okay, since I have noticed in all our discussions that you are more interested in bondage, do you want to try this first?"
"I..uh... okay."