Quest of the Spirit: From Suffering to Acceptance

Hard Times and Hard Lessons

  Chapter One: Wise Advice

      My papa and I were walking down the street in town, and we heard  a man bragging  about all the things he'd done in the war. He went on and on, like a donkey braying in the night.   

      Papa said,  "Listen to me, son. A man that 's fought in the war don't want to remember  what he's done. Only them that did nothin run their mouths. If I's you, I'd  stay away from that ole cuss.  A feller like that thinks he's cock of the walk, but he's nothin but a windjammer, full of hot air! He thinks his stuff stinks, but he don't know Jay Gould about it. Why, he don't know his head from a hole in the ground. At least, that's the way I'm tellin' you, as a boy, not the way I was told when I was just a little shaver. In my time they  used right smart  stronger language.  A feller like that'll get you in trouble before you can bat an eye, before you can Jack Robinson! I've seen people listen to blowhards like that, and before you know it, they're caught between a rock and a hard place. You'd better hold your horses when hear a smart-aleck like that; don't get in too big a rush or get  the cart before the horse. I always called men like that catfish, all mouth and no body. Let me tell ya,  if you're gonna go poppin off , you better be ready to put up or shut up. If you don't , you're libel to get your tail caught in a crack. It's mighty easy for a man to let his mouth overload his back! A man that don't tell the truth ain't worth a hill a beans. He ain't worth the salt in his bread. If he won't hold his head up and look ya in the eye, you'd better not trust him. He's as crooked as a dog's hind leg. My grandma usta say he's crookeder than a barrel of snakes!  If a man will lie, he'll steal! Why, he'll steal the nickels off a dead man's eyes.  My grandma also usta say she'd like to  buy a feller like that for what he's worth, and sell him for what he thinks he's worth! Wouldn't that be sump'm?  You'd be goin to town then, wouldn't ya? A goin Jessie!

       When my papa didn't like somebody, he didn't beat around the bush about it, either. He shot straight from the hip, no bones about it.  He wasn't scared to tell 'em how the cow ate the cabbage, and if they didn't like it, they  could step out in the street and settle it like a man. Papa would say, "I may not whip ya, but by  thunder, you'll know you've been somewhere before I'm through!"  You'd better be ready to fight, or keep your shirt on.  

Chapter Two: Visitors

That afternoon Aint Laura and Uncle Jess came to see us.

"Hey, get out and come in! Come in! We ain't seen you in a month a Sundays! Come in and chew the fat!  How have you been? 

We're doin fine! We just thought we'd drop by a spell and see how you're doin. It's been a while since we seen you , and we thought you might be sick or sump em. It seems like its been a coon's age since we saw ya."

Draw up a chair, and tell us how ya been? Don't this weather just beat all? It's hotter than a pistol outside, and when ya come in, you still sweat like a stuck hog.  Ain't it  the beatenest thing you ever saw! I don't think it's ever been this hot before. I caint stay cool to save my soul from heck! 

You're right! A feller gets hot as fox just  goin outside. My grandpa usta say hot as a powder keg.

I know what cha mean, but to tell the truth,  I've been busier than a cat coverin up.

How is that? 

You better believe it! The blamed deer have eaten us our of house and home! I'm havin to build a fence to keep'em out! 

Well. I declare! We had a problem with varmints a few months back, and I chained my dog out there . That did the trick. You might want to try it. 

 I would, but my  ornery old dogs ain't worth killin. They turn tail and hide ever time the wind blows. That ole cuss that sold me them dogs shore pulled the wool over my eyes! He oughta be hung by his toes, or  right smart worse! Rascals  like that don't never seem to get caught. He shore took me for a cleanin, and I ain't seen hide nor hair of him since! If I could only find the scalawag. I'd give him a  piece of my mind, plus a lot more! That'ud fix him!