F O L L Y

Chapter 1:

The crisp, cold, Paris air tasted like a damp towel between my blistered lips. I felt the wind curl up my entire frigid body until it met my eyes. The sudden overflow of a sharp glacial burn filled my cheeks with bleach. I felt like weeping, but all I could muster was a faint whimper followed by an attempt of a wail and a sniffle. I could hear the heartbeat in my head and feel the pounding overtop my weak enervated skull. I peered up slowly, eyes meeting with an unfamiliar face. I pondered as I felt my gaze dawn on her. I thought about what her life must've been like. She looked... happy. It was attractive. The strange thing was she wasn't smiling, or walking cheerfully, she even seemed like she was in a hurry, but a mere glance at this stranger made my stomach drop in the best way. I felt the flames in my lungs wither back to heavy weights as she walked off. Knowing I would never even glimpse at this curious woman again.

"God! what am I a fag now?!" I huffed silently as my words slurred and pierced through the unwelcoming breeze.

I stood, admiring my surroundings another time, before collecting myself.

Already by that time, the memory of the stranger had dissolved into the cracks of the concrete beneath my boots. They clicked on the floor as my thread fine legs dragged my body back to the apartment.

Upon my arrival, I was greeted with a weary grin. Anyone would notice this boy's phoniness from miles away. And even though he paid my bills, and worked for both of us. Christian didn't give two cracks about anyone in his life. He did it for the company of someone like me. I don't blame him, I was a conventionally attractive girl with an unstable writing career, rocky morals and a fucked up brain. He had been my roommate for only four months, and already he was bringing melancholy into my life. This boy was my thirteenth reason. He brought girls back to the dorm every other day, disrespected me, made me feel small, the list goes on. He was a bully. It reminded me of what I had faced growing up. Jumping from family to family you're ought to find a handful of bullies just like my roommate Christian.

"Hey Cecilia", he started, his legs shuffling and his hands crossed together right over his fly. "I wanted to ask you if you had any money I could borrow". My eyes furrowed as I rolled them back.

"for what Chris?",

"I need to pay my supplier.",

"God!", I spoke in an argumentative tone. Trying to convince myself that I was shocked yet the reality was that I wouldn't expect any less from someone like him. The curious thing was that even though he repeatedly acted like an immature boy. I was still trying to look attractive, perking up my chest and batting my eyes. I wanted him to like me, I wanted him to be obsessed with me.

"C, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important", he staggered out in a nervously unconvincing voice. "I'll do anything," his lips quirked exposing his dimples and jawline. I looked down at his belt as my eyes slowly rode up Christians shirt. It was unbuttoned to his belly button and you could clearly see how toned he was. I drowned my forehead into my hands as my hair spilled over them. sighing, I stood, contemplating just for a few moments. My lungs still weighed and my body was as thin as a pile of noodles. Maybe sex can fix it. Maybe if I fuck Christian ill feel normal.

I felt the sound of Chris's white bed sheets shuffle as my eyelids drifted apart. He stood over me, with one hand wrapped around the handle of a slick maroon suitcase. He wore a blanket of ego endeavoured in his smile as he turned around jilting away, not even muttering any form of goodbye. My body lifted in a sudden movement still trying to process what had just happened when I heard the main door click closed.