Ghost with a beating heart

Heyaa, my second story so yeah...

Enjoy x

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It's funny how you can try to stand out, try to be important but no matter how much you try and succeed the one person you do it all for has the ability to look away. That is the most crushing thing that can be experienced. All you can give, everything about you being tossed aside for another. It was you who inspired greatness in me but it was also you who made me want to hide that greatness for fear of not being good enough. When I see you congratulate others it makes me wonder if I could ever be good enough or if I'm doomed to always coming last. Why when I talk to you do you turn away or stair right through me like I'm not there? Do I exist? Am I dead? My heart beats and my lungs expand, more so when you're around. You are the spark that lights the fire inside me, setting off countless reactions within my soul, yet you perfect wonderful you don't know, don't see those reactions that you fire in me. The power you command over my soul my emotions all of me is astounding. When I see the hate in your eyes as you pass me by my body screams to be better to be more, I never will. My mind aches at every glance every movement of your sweet being wishing for you to one day see me in the light of my greatness, then will you look at me the same? Is each carefully planned expression of my affection doomed to failure? Will you ever notice the live radiating off of me? It is also funny how in this world the only thing I'm good at everyone is so much better than me. It is funny how my soul can tire itself out trying to be good enough for you yet you don't even turn your head. I give so much if myself and receive so little in return. How am I to survive whilst half of me lives in your majestic shadow? Being close to you melts the ice that is my heart. No amount of time would be enough and there is not enough paper for me to put in words the adoration I have for your very being. Your sent is that of rolling hills covered in flowers, of fresh waterfalls falling in undisturbed forests, of pure perfection in every way there is. It's amazing how even in the noisiest place my brain will shut out all noise but your voice. Like a composition by angles your voice travels through my weary body causing a calm a stillness in all the unrest of this world. The most amazing thing about you is your beauty. The very sight of you would cause flowers to turn to dust in the breeze. Your perfectly formed features that no living being could replicate take the very breath out of my lungs. Your eyes deep pools of bliss that steady my beating heart, those wonderful eyes that look through me as if I was a memory a dream a fake a freud. Those lips that form every syllable of your speech that slow time itself when I am to look at you. Those lips that appear in each and every dream I have ever dreamt, each blissful nightmare. I see you each day, I see your pain I can read your mind like no one can. My own soul feels pain when you are sad and when you're lonely my heart and mind fly to be with you, but you have a force field preventing me from getting close to you from ever seeing you as more then the perfection that my eyes perceive. I want to hold your body close to mine, to feel your heart beat as it raises according to my touch. You standing so close it me sets off my mind, my body, my cravings for you it's pure madness how a single look at you could have such violent consequences inside of me. Causing a serious emotion the sort I have never felt before. Like a storm at sea a simple breeze can help a ship along on its way you have pushed me into the deepnesses of bliss. I want to learn more about you until you are a part of me engraved in my memory forever. It's funny how your name is she best sounding word I've ever heard and each time I hear it my heat quickens. I miss my life, I miss the colour of your eyes whenever I don't see you for more than a day. Which is so stupid because i know you don't even think about me. I have come to realise that heaven is a place on this world that constantly changes to where you are. You'll never see me how I see you I'll never get to make you feel how I want you to feel experience euphoria like I have imagined for you. That can only ever be a twisted illusio.n that my mind creates to torture me. I want to appear in your dreams thoughts and emotions the way you appear in mine each and every day. I wonder if you notice my shaking hands my nervous smile the way I can't put more than two words together when I'm in your presence.