Its not that bad

17

We are finally moving in. We signed the papers. Paid. Painted. Moved the boxes into the house. Built the new and old furniture. And now we are unpacking. I think its because of moving but i've been having really bad migraines for a little bit. I don't really get them so it's a bit abnormal for me. And i missed my period. Im not what i think i am, am i? I should take a test. No i shouldn't.

I don't want to stress out Timmy even more. He had to paint rooms all by himself and do most of this stuff all by himself because my migraines would be really bad.

We were in the kitchen, putting some plates and cups and silverware away. Timothée looked at me. He always feels when something is off about me.

"Are you okay? You seem off." He asks. he comes over to me and wraps his arms around my waist as i was sorting the silverware. I sigh.

"I don't know. I have a another migraine today. And i don't want to freak you out but i missed my period. I just-I don't know." I mumble. He presses soft kisses on the back of my neck.

"Do you want to lay down?" He mumbles into my neck. I shake my head.

"No. I don't want you to do this all by yourself." I say softly. He rubs my hips.

"How about lets take a break. It getting late and you need some rest." Timothée said soothingly.

I shake my head. Unpacking has been kinda like a distraction from all my worries.

"No, unpacking has been a distraction for me." I say continuing to sort silverware.

"A distraction from what love?" He asks with a concerned tone. He stood to my side. Timothée uses his fingers to turn my head.

I was about to cry. I shouldn't be crying about this. It's stupid.

"Why are you about to cry love? What is this distracting you from?" He asks again. he put his hands on my face wiping the tear that fell.

"From what's going on to my body. I haven't had my period. I've been having these stupid fucking migraines. And i think im pregnant but i don't know if i actually am-"

"Woah, Woah, Woah. You think your pregnant?" He asks, cocking his head a little.

I let out a sob. Timothée picks me up.

"Okay. I shouldn't have said that." He started to walk towards the stairs with me in his arms. I held onto him tightly. Even when he tried to place me on the bed. I just sobbed and sobbed.

I don't even know why else im crying. The stuff that i said is the only reason why.

"Jada honey, can you look at me please?" Timothée asked calmly. His hand ran down my back slowly. My head rises to look at him. His green eyes calmed me down a little bit. "Let's take a test."

{ten minutes later}

"Are you gonna be mad if it's positive?" I ask Timothée nervously. He rubs my thigh.

"I won't be mad. I'll be a bit shocked but not mad." He had a slight smile on his face. "What about you? Will you be mad if it's positive?" I sigh.

"I mean, i don't know. I'll be happy because i've always wanted a kid." I explain. Timothée sighs looking at the test that flipped. I look at him.

"Do you want to flip it?" He asks me. I nod. I reach over to the counter with my even more tattooed hand. I got a few more. I added Timothée's moon phase on my hand and one his favorite quotes from a movie on my left arm. I know i shouldn't get a tattoo of my partner in case we separate but he's my best friend, I'll always love him.

I grab the test and look at Timothée before flipping. I flip it over.

One line.

Just one line.

Part of me was relieved it another was sad. I was kinda hoping there was two lines. I heard Timothée sigh.

"Im sorry." He whispers. He wrapped his arm around me. I hug him back. Tears came out of my eyes against my will. This hit me hard. I put my legs over Timmy's and started to cry more.

Timmy hugged me firmly. I feel him crying too.

"Its okay. It's okay." I hear him speak into my hair.

I look at him. He never really cries. Besides in movies but even in movies it always hurts me to see him cry.

I wipe his tears. "I know its okay. But it just sucks. I kinda wanted to be pregnant. I want to have a kid or kids but it sucks to know that im not." I say through tears. I pulled him back into a hug.

This sucks. I can understand the amount of pain women go through to see just one line monthly. If i were pregnant, i didn't want people thinking it was too soon for us. To be fair, people always think bad of me a Timothée. But i dont care about what they say.