My Mom snapped. Once again. She barged into my room with her face fuming red.
She knocked aggressively at the door and I hurriedly set my phone up. Anything that could happen right now could be used against her. I make sure to record stuffs as long as I can because there's nothing more powerful than a solid concrete evidence.
I learned this the hard way.
I opened the door for her and she went inside my room with her heels loudly clicking on the floor. God, it sounds to irritating.
"You disrespected your Tita again?"
Again? Maybe I disrespected them before when I was younger. But I already forgot about that. Maybe I didn't care. But I feel like she deserves it. They always got what they deserved.
"She disrespected me first." I told her even though I knew she wouldn't believe me. I hated that I had to defend myself all the time to a person who would never believe me.
"Marina, I get how you wanted to ruin my life from the beginning but does it ever goes inside the little head of yours that whatever you do with my sisters, it affects my job? Do you understand that?"
Yep. Her job. That's what matters to her. They were so childish that their little sibling rivalry was still ongoing even if they are at that age. And I was still involved with that. I was just caught in the middle of their childish fight.
"I gave birth to you. I feed you. I let you live in my house. The least that you could do is stop being a burden to me."
Why is she being such a huge epitome of an Asian mom who wants to pass he generational trauma? But she has that ongoing trauma even if she went to med school and did become a doctor. She still want to pass it to me. Maybe she is aware but the damage has been done and it just left me with no hope.
"I never asked to be born? The least that you could do is to be a decent mother. But you're not. I get that your job is more important. But stop abusing me with your words as if you beating me up when I was a kid is not enough."
The look in her face was satisfying. Her bulging veins on her forehead was hideous but who cares.
"Mom, you're just like that man. Your anger issues are showing."
I expected it. I see it coming. But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. She went straight at me and slapped me in the face. Once. Twice. Or five times. I lost count. I'm getting worried she might leave a scratch and my make up couldn't cover it up. I even tasted blood but I felt like this wasn't my body anymore. I loved that at times like this, I was dissociating.
I am not here. This is not my body. But I still have the control. i can still say things even if I don't mean it.
Now I feel like I'm Tita Mildred. Deliberately saying things that could anger another person just because my emotions got the better hold of me.
"I am not in anyway just like him." she said through her gritted teeth.
"Yep. You just proved it. You're like him."
"Get out of my house right now." she said in a fake calm voice.
I saw this one coming too.
"Get out!!!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.
I heard hurried footsteps and my eyes met with Ely's.
"Mom?!" he yelled.
"Don't interfere, Ely!" she yelled at him too which made him flinch. She has never shouted at him before. Maybe because he's the most favored child.
