The Life and Times of The Great XMUN Raccoon

The Begining of A Great Journey

It was a bleak mid-winter morning when raocon began his days as usual, he scooped the white snow (kinda racist) onto his face as he washed it. Looking out over the vast grey landscape before him Racon knew what he needed to do for his family, (I wish I had a family :(() as he began to don on his armor, the tough leather armor he usually wore now scratched and blemished. As the sun slowly rose he began to pray to the great Maritian Leader and sharpened his claws in preparation for battle. 

Thinking back to the great hunger racon steeled himself for his travels alongside the desolate and lifeless landscape known as the highway, quickly securing his eye mask he scurried out of his home and onto the long seemingly endless road.  Humming his anthem as he went he began the long trek to the beautiful food paradise known as "The Gar Baje Dump Ey". 

"Raccoon kind walk in the light, 
 Those that fall and those that call, 
Will fight the fight
And bite the blight
After the ball, we shall fall
For the call of the doll

For our great leader
We shall be the beater's
For the war of the seagull will fall on the beetle
And in this heater is a cedar
That will be the deceiver of the beaver"

Racon's singing was cut off as the sudden rumble of the great truck lord began. Remembering the advice of his father before he disappeared to fight the great "Milk Gallon" (my dad's disappearance is related to milk too- coincidence? I think not) Racon quickly ran into the safe zone and hid as the great rumbling drew nearer. As he disguised himself against the now grayed snow, he heard the noise that all his predecessors who had been on the endless road before,

"Listen well Racon, if you should ever hear the great rumbling beware the dreadful screeching and bellowing it makes"  

Taking this advice to mind Racon ducked his head and prepared for the great noise but, it never came (just like my love life) waiting for the next few minutes he finally raised his head and looked out on the slowly brightening road. 

Realizing he wasn't dead he began to trek down the treacherous and dangerous road to paradise, thinking upon the advice given by his predecessors. As he walked further and further down the highway a single sign up in the distance slowly began to become readable. Looking in bewilderment Racon hurriedly scurried at a breakneck pace, closer and closer to the mysterious glowing signboard.