Just Another Rucas Love Story

Chapter 1

What is life ? I wish I knew that answer so I slam on my phone screen for the alarm to shut off.

I groan as I roll over the side of the bed, my wrists are still killing me from the night before. I haven't been that bad to myself in a while. I think I should eat something today because today it'll be one week since my last full meal. Who cares?

My best friend, Maya doesn't even know that I don't eat for days. She only knows I don't eat correctly. Sometimes i just feel like she doesn't understand at all. Like, how really insure i am about my body. I dont think anybody really knows how that feels to be honest. I'm just so fat.

I remember when maya and i used to tell each other every little thing though. Literally. its not like that anymore though. people grow apart and im not 13 anymore. mom and dad still think were the best of friends though. of course. i still love her so much, shes still my best friend. i cant live without her but if she knew about the things ive done / do i dont think she would want to be friends like that anymore... i dont get why i even have her as a friend.. or farkle... or lucas...

ever since i met him and maya made me fall on his lap, ive liked him. sounds crazy but its just so true. he'll never like a person like me anyways so i should just give up.

anyways as i get outta bed i start to look around my closet. i have so many colorful clothes and not much black. i cant be judged even more. i cant, thats why nobody knows i self harm or how i even feel but who cares? Hahahaha no one. it sucks having to live life. i pick my "favorite" hot pink skater skirt and a striped black and hot pink longed sleeved shirt to go with it. i add some braclets and throw on my all black high top converse.

as i go out into the living room maya is already eating. ugh now i do need to eat today. "Hey riley, take a seat and jion Maya, would you like eggs too?" my mom asks. i smile and nod my head. usually i find away to throw it out it i guess ill just throw up today. whatever theres not a huge difference... i think ill lose more weight this way anyways. after sadly stuffing my fat face, maya and i get our bags and go down to subway.

"I hope you dont mind but i asked Bradley to join us. Please Rilesss" "yeah, its okay, ill just check up stuff on my phone" maya just smirks at me. oh gosh. what is she planning now? Ive never really trusted that smirk. as we finally get to the subway place bradley is waiting with somebody.......

LUCAS! what... oh my god i thought i would have time to throw up first before i had to face him. as they greet each other with their lips, I turn to lucas and flash a smile

"Heyyy" he smiled back and holds his hand out
"C'mon, lets go find a seat and leave them. I know this is yours and mayas thing and i was sleeping over his house so i hope its okay with you im here too" I take a seat next to him and keep smiling
"Of course i dont mind you're here. youre one of my best friends."
"Yeah. im always here for you princess" as i they come and join us, i just go on my phone. I know what youre thinking. Yeah yeah but he doesnt like me back. probably just feels bad. thats it. its whatever.