Raining. Again. That's all it ever does here in England, well were i live anyway, it usually floods pretty bad due to narrow roads. I'm sat in my bedroom window on the large seat ledge looking out like usual, my window looks out onto fields and on days like today there is no one in them and everything looks boring and rubbish but when the sun shines all the children play in the fields. They run around and laugh and play silly little games and it makes me smile to see them like that living without a care in the world because i used to be like that. Living in a small village means everyone knows everyone but it's not the life for me. I want more than this for my life.
Looking out of the window i get lost in my thoughts about what i really do want for my life. Something to do with dancing maybe? or maybe working with children? maybe a lawyer. Law is my favourite subject. Who knows maybe i'll become someone who cleans for a living its not what i want but how many people realistically achieve their dreams.
To achieve the dreams i have in my life there is so much i need and living here these things cannot be accomplished. If i want to make something for myself i need to move away. It's not like i fit in here anyway i'm the type of girl that wears bright colours to a funeral in memory of the amazing life the person lived instead of black and white to mourn them. I'm the type of girl that will be chatting away to random people for a conversation because i hate the silence. I don't belong here in this small village.
When i leave here; notice the use of the word when? I will make the most of my life. I will never be able to say thank you enough to the people who have loved and will continue to love me and those who have taught me about life. I won't ever forget where i came from. Where my home is. But just because my home is here it doesn't mean i will be forever, people move homes right? This will always be where i started.
I'm going to go to a place where i can be me, be crazy and fun loving and not have a care in the world, somewhere where i can laugh at the top of my lungs and people won't look at me like i've escaped from the nearest mental hopsital. I want to be like one of the people in the movies where they just travel to a place and do all sorts of silly things just taking in every little thing about the place and making the most of it. One day. That will be me.
My life hasn't always been easy but there will always be someone worse off than me. The only thing i can do it keep my head held high. I have my sister who i want to look up to me one day, i want her to see that if you try hard enough, even if you have to sacrifice, you can always make something out of nothing because that is what i have here; nothing.
I'm breaking away.
i know it's short but like i said i'm not sure where this is going, the next song i have planned will be an emotional chapter for me. I'm not filtering my thoughts here, these are the thoughts i have when i listen to this song, they are raw thoughts and yeah. Maybe there won't be a story behind this i felt speech would ruin it. I guess there is a story because it's my life; my story.
So this chapter is based on Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson, the video is on the side (hopefully)
please let me know your thoughts.
