I Am Sher-locked

10. It comes and goes in waves

Sherlock's perspective

Hospital corridors were something Sherlock was used to seeing, but not walking around waiting for news of a loved one's health. It was raining outside but he did not care. For the first time, John stood speechless next to the operating room double door. Molly had kept his daughter so he could be with Sherlock.

That night everything seemed dark, especially Sherlock's mind. Irene had fainted in his arms, her heartbeat barely perceptible. Six hours later, the doctors had not yet been able to stabilize her condition. She had lost a lot of blood. Only the nurses came out of the surgery to inform the anxious Sherlock, who was becoming more and more angry, about Irene's condition.

Suddenly John stood by his side while Sherlock stared outside the window. "She's a fighter", he said lowly. "She'll survive."

"I don't doubt it", Sherlock responded, not believing his own lies. "Go to your daughter. I will stay here."

"No, it's fine. Molly was happy to help", John nodded his head. "Do we know who did this to Irene?"

Sherlock breathed out. "No, she didn't mention a name."

"Well, what did she say though?"

Sherlock pressed his lips together, staring intently at the dark, rainy sky. "Not much", he lied. "I will turn the whole world upside down, but I will find the bastard who did this to her", he seethed.

"I am more than sure that you will", John shifted his gaze to him. "She loves you, Sherlock", John offered a faint smile. "At first, I thought she just liked you but...", he inhaled deeply. "I saw it in her eyes. She loves you very much."

"She told me", Sherlock lowered his head, his fists clenched. "She thought she was dying and she told me that she loves me..."

"Do you love her?"

Sherlock felt a knot go up his throat. His heart was heavy with remorse. What would happen if Irene died without knowing that he.....

"I love her", he admitted with a deep sigh. "I won't stop believing that love is a disadvantage. Right now my mind is on Irene's situation because I love her. I can't think of our new case."

"Do you remember the night we broke into Magnussen's office?"

"Yes, of course", Sherlock turned to him.

"Janine was lying on the floor with a wound on her head. You didn't even looked at her twice. Your mind was on Magnussen. Right now you can only think of Irene because she is the meaning of your life", John said, looking at his eyes. "Did you tell her that you love her?"

"No...", Sherlock averted his gaze. "I did not."

"Sherlock--.."

"Mr. Holmes?", a nurse cut them off and they turned around alarmed.

"How is she? Is she alright?", Sherlock questioned impatiently.

"Mr. Holmes, her condition is critical. Clearly the problem is not that the patient lost--.."

"Who the hell are you?", Sherlock cut her off aggresively. "She is not just a patient! Her name is Irene Adler, you incompetent nurse!"

"Sherlock!", John grabbed his elbow.

Sherlock pushed John away from him, glaring at the nurse who seemed particularly frightened by him. "I want to talk to a doctor! For God's sake, let me speak with someone who knows exactly what's going on!!"

"Y-yes, sir", the nurse stuttered, stepping backwards. "One moment, sir", she lowered her head and disappeared behind the double doors of the operating room.