I Am Sher-locked

19. Crazy about You

Sherlock was about to speak but Irene acted impulsively. She pushed him away from her and ran out of the apartment bewildered and panicked.

"Irene!!!"

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Irene heard Sherlock calling her name but her panic was so strong that she was paralyzed. She could not think logically so she ran down the stairs and came out of the building, panting. Her breathing was getting shorter, her vision was blurred and only then did she realize that what her body was experiencing was an unprecedented wave of panic attack. Immediately she leaned against the wall with one hand, trying to focus her gaze on the passers-by who ignored her. She felt sweaty and cold at the same time. It was a terrible feeling. 

She grabbed her head with both hands, her back resting on the rough surface of the wall. In the haze that prevailed in her mind, she realized that someone had grabbed her by the shoulders and was trying to keep her upright.

"Irene!!", Sherlock's voice sounded distant like it was coming from afar but he was the one who had his hands on her shoulders. "Focus on my voice", he spoke calmly. Irene lowered her head, panting. She was a mess. "I know it's hard but I want you to focus on my voice and stop trying to slow down your breath. Just count every breath. Alright? Do it for me..."

One, two, three, four... Damn... Do it again... Five, six, seven...

"There you go...", Sherlock moved his hands to the sides of her face, holding her gently. She slowly pulled her head up, trying to focus her gaze on him. "You're safe. I'm here. Everything's gonna be fine, do you hear me?"

Irene nodded ever so slightly, her breathing rate gradually stabilized. She could even see more clearly than a minute ago. 

"It's alright, Irene, don't be scared", his thumbs softly caressed her cheeks as his blue eyes remained focused on her. "It was just a panic attack. You're stronger than this. It's natural to feel this way."

"I'm sorry...", she murmured with hoarse voice. She was covered in cold sweat and her heartbeat was still very strong but she was in better shape. 

"You don't need to apologize", he leaned forward pressing his lips against her forehead for a long moment. "We're in this together. Right?"

"Right...", she muttered breathlessly and leaned closer to him. 

Sherlock locked her in his arms, kissing the top of her head. "Don't mind my parents. They're just excited about our wedding. That's all...", he said softly without pulling back. "I'm going to talk to them so you don't have to go through this all, okay?"

"This is embarrassing", she said, her voice didn't falter. She was slowly regaining her strength. Gently she pulled back and looked at him. "I used to be fearless. Rough. Now look at me...", she shook her head, disappointed by herself. "I'm crying all the time. I'm weak..."

"Hey, hey...", he gently grabbed her chin and forced her to look him in the eye. "You're not weak. You've been through a lot and you are not willing to give yourself time to heal. You'll break down eventually and I don't want to witness your fall. Embrace your pain, accept it and then let it go..."

She smiled softly at him. "You're a wise man..."

"Yeah, I know, so take advantage of it", he arched an eyebrow, teasingly. "Are you feeling better?"

"No", she took his face in her hands gently. "Kiss me and I will feel better..."

Sherlock smirked, drawing her close to him and locked his lips with hers. A soft, almost relieved moan sounded from the depths of her throat while she deepened the kiss. He pushed her gently until her back stuck to the wall. This time Irene's moan was full of lust and their kiss became more demanding. They were not interested in the prying eyes of passers-by, they had both forgotten the world around them.